Friday, March 31, 2006
I once saw a t-shirt in a shop window in Thonon, France. It said mes parents ne me connaissent, which loosely translates as "my parents have no idea who I really am"
The two people who love me the most in this whole world really don't know me that well. And I think most people have this kind of arms-length relationship with their folks. For me personally, I don't think my parents would like me any less if they knew all my secrets, but I do think they'd say a lot of shit about me when I'm out of earshot. It's just nicer when they think of me as their spunky little girl, the A student, making good in the Big City and coming home to play with her cats over a cup of tea every night.
Post-production is almost complete on abDADAduction, the latest in a series of short surrealist porn films created by the Partistes. Mom would be so proud.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
It's all true what they say about it not being as glamourous as one might think.
Just ask the dog.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Please take a moment to read a funny blog entry by Steakbellie: Turning Over A New Leaf. With his usual wit, he has cast forth a few interesting theories on Canada-U.S. relations. THIS is the guy who should have David Wilkins' job. Steakbellie's unique insight to the Canadian mindset is clearly beneficial to us all.
Many Americans seem universally puzzled and amused by their neighbours to the north. But is there a physical difference between Canadians & Americans? Are we not ALL Americans in the continental sense of the word? We all go to work/school, raise our kids, daydream about vacations, sit in traffic, pay our taxes, complain about the government, and save up for retirement.
Of course there are glaring differences in culture and identity -- things like universal healthcare, constitutional monarchy, gay marriage, and great beer. There are also perceived differences -- misconceptions that it's somehow nicer in the North, somehow less stupid.
Yeah, I wish:
Money: $1 USD = $1.15 CDN .... 15%
Sorry, not as much bang for yer duotone buck. Two years ago this week, our dollar was trading at $1.32. We've come a long way, baby. Not ALL good news, when ya think about the part where we're less competitive in foreign markets, not to mention the sudden drought of tourists. Hungry American Tourists.
Guns & Hosers
94% of illegal firearms used in crime in Canada are born in the U.S.A.
Canada's crime rate is 50 % Higher than U.S. We may not like to get all suited up and go invade foreign countries, but we don't mind killing each other.
Know Thy NeighbourOk, yeah ... we all know each other.
We don't necessarily like each other though.
The Bacon Theory
Peameal bacon is more than "just a slice of ham". It's made from boneless pork loins, short cut from the leaner portion of the loin to give a more uniform cut. Then they are sweet pickle cured and rolled in the traditional golden corn meal coating. But I agree, it's got nothin on the sweet smoky taste of crispy side bacon.
So therefore, we love you for your bacon like a kid loves a nerd classmate with a backyard pool every summer.
We'll bring the maple syrup.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Monday, March 6, 2006
So, the lines are open to callers now - tell us EVERYTHING YOU KNOW about Chuck Norris.
Chuck's personal faves:
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
more facts...many thanks to Walid:
- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is PAIN.
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter, he grew a beard.
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
- Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.
- Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
- Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
- Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
- After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
- Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the crap out of little kids.