Done that. Now the local ambulance drivers know me by name, and my liver - which had formerly been on the fence about me - is no longer taking my increasingly desperate calls...to process a quart of vodka in an hour.
Pistols: I knew I wouldn't be the only one who has a dysfunctional relationship with my liver. Actually, I have remained mostly sober since Nov '06, however, brutally frigid temperatures and lonely winter nights have forced me to reconsider my options of late.
Chris: Jin Wicked's "delicious vodka" painting is a favourite of mine too, and the Scandelles flyer was created by friends of mine - I've just added their links for more info.
After years in decidedly more tropical climes, I have decided that the freezing winter is good for two things, and two things only: enticing one to share a bed with another person (or a space heater), and giving one an excuse to gain thirty pounds thanks to a depression-fighting diet of gravy-flavored ice cream sprinkled with Doritos and half a handle of anything, dear god, anything. "You're going to get fat," a part of your brain may say, to which you reply: "Who can tell, underneath the three jackets and eight other layers? Further, given these single-digit temps, clearly life and this season are incompatible, and I should like to meet my death in this manner, thank you very much." Then, eat a tube of cookie dough like it's a revolutionary act, which it is, because your organs will revolt and stop processing sugars. And you're in Canada, where the temperature isn't measured in degrees, but in the volume one screams "Sweet merciful Christ" upon exiting the domicile. I can't even imagine - especially sober.
Sadly, no. This is why drunk me is actually kind of a letdown - sober me is already kinda drunk. Drunk me just slurs a little more and feels the need to stop ugly women in the street to inform them of their unattractiveness.
I think Creemore makes a particularly tasty variety of Urbock around this time of year...in nice giant bottles with higher alcohol content, so you don't waste a lot of valuable drinking time going back and forth between the fridge...
8 comments:
Done that. Now the local ambulance drivers know me by name, and my liver - which had formerly been on the fence about me - is no longer taking my increasingly desperate calls...to process a quart of vodka in an hour.
I like the artwork in both this post and the last. Neat stuff!
Pistols: I knew I wouldn't be the only one who has a dysfunctional relationship with my liver. Actually, I have remained mostly sober since Nov '06, however, brutally frigid temperatures and lonely winter nights have forced me to reconsider my options of late.
Chris: Jin Wicked's "delicious vodka" painting is a favourite of mine too, and the Scandelles flyer was created by friends of mine - I've just added their links for more info.
After years in decidedly more tropical climes, I have decided that the freezing winter is good for two things, and two things only: enticing one to share a bed with another person (or a space heater), and giving one an excuse to gain thirty pounds thanks to a depression-fighting diet of gravy-flavored ice cream sprinkled with Doritos and half a handle of anything, dear god, anything. "You're going to get fat," a part of your brain may say, to which you reply: "Who can tell, underneath the three jackets and eight other layers? Further, given these single-digit temps, clearly life and this season are incompatible, and I should like to meet my death in this manner, thank you very much." Then, eat a tube of cookie dough like it's a revolutionary act, which it is, because your organs will revolt and stop processing sugars. And you're in Canada, where the temperature isn't measured in degrees, but in the volume one screams "Sweet merciful Christ" upon exiting the domicile. I can't even imagine - especially sober.
Ok. You're drunk now, aren't you?
Sadly, no. This is why drunk me is actually kind of a letdown - sober me is already kinda drunk. Drunk me just slurs a little more and feels the need to stop ugly women in the street to inform them of their unattractiveness.
Maybe Jin can paint a pic of Pistols with Gravy-flavored ice cream sprinkled with Doritos.
I think Creemore makes a particularly tasty variety of Urbock around this time of year...in nice giant bottles with higher alcohol content, so you don't waste a lot of valuable drinking time going back and forth between the fridge...
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