A woman in my office throws up her hands in a kind of mock-despair. She's fed-up with something.
Office Woman: "Why does everyone keep making pirate comments today?"
(she does a funny little twirl, as if modelling for me)
"hey Kat, I don't look like a pirate, do I? I love this outfit! It's cute."
Let's see... black capri pants with cuffed hem, the cut is slightly flared out from the knee, and paired with knee-high black boots. They are not a sexy style of boot, but kinda like a middle-aged woman 'comfort' dress boot with a buccaneer heel and the toe slightly curved upward.
On top we have a black and white striped boat-neck cashmere sweater, some kinda black and red lacey fringed shawl-scarf thing around her waist in lieu of a proper belt (...what is it with moms and their dressy shawl-scarves worn in abstract ways? If you ever see me wearing one for reasons other than sheer warmth, please choke me with it.)
The only items that seem to be missing are the eyepatch and the parrot. And not every pirate was lucky enough to have an eyepatch or a parrot, but I thought 'my GOD woman, HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A FUCKING PIRATE BEFORE?'