Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Hairapy Session

I don't normally send my guests to other blogs, aside from the real good readin' links in the sidebar, which deserve your attention at all times. I just think that creating an entire blog of other people's YouTube clips and URLs is pretty much lazy, unoriginal, and fine for celebrity gossipers, but I usually prefer fresh-made to leftovers. I'm making an exception today, because this page made me laugh out loud:

The 2nd Annual Stupid MySpace Haircut Awards

I was an 80's teen, so I have a rather campy relationship with hair. I especially love the horrorthrill of a good mullet. I have modelled some downright wacky do's myself over the years, but never to a point where I've been compared to a comic book or animé character. I have at least 20 or more personal friends who belong on that Stupid Haircut list, so I am inspired to open up the lines here at Rocketradio and give you, my wonderful mean/fun-spirited readers, a forum where you can safely mock the stupid haircuts of your own friends, neighbours, or favourite public figures. Please send your .jpgs to rocketstudio@rogers.com , along with a "profile" of your nominees. Real names will not be used, so if you don't submit a profile, a pseudonym and imaginative bio will be randomly made up by yours truly.

I will be awarding a very special prize to the winning entry -- a blinged-out buckle of your choice from the fabulous Beevers at Barbie's Basement Jewellery ! It pays to play with your Rocket!







UPDATE - May 26/07: As stupid haircuts go, the floppy mohawk is right up there. This daring 'do catapults Pistols at Dawn onto our leader board! He looks tough to beat, and also looks willing to fight you to the death for fun and profit. Who will step up and take this punk down?








21 comments:

pistols at dawn said...

Brilliant. Unfortunately, as a Native American, I have no pictures of myself to avoid ever being entered in such a contest. We tell you crackers it's because it steals our souls, but really, it's just to keep our wardrobe- and follicular-based shame limited to the present.

katrocket said...

You're a liar, Pistols. And I suspect you're the worst kind of liar: one with a very incriminating hair history. I expect photos from you anon.

And I ain't no cracker, baby. I be The Cheese.

pistols at dawn said...

I have asked for a regular boy's haircut for years now, but there were times when I made the following grevious errors:

1. Long hair.

2. Long hair and a sizable beard.

3. Huge, 1890s sideburns (my "Van Buren" phase).

4. A mohawk that wouldn't spike (the "Morrisseyhawk").

5. Half my head shaved.

6. A ring of hair going on top of my head to under my neck. Hilarious, but no pictures survive.

Blank Field said...

life is a bitch and then your hair falls out. I only have to shave about seven hairs to be a cue ball. Thanks for reminding me...

katrocket said...

Bert: I LOVE the Jean-Luc Picard look. I also find shaved heads quite attractive - far more so than long haired hippy dudes. I'm AOK with your clean bean.

Chris said...

Hey, us long-haired hippie dudes have bald heads too - we just keep 'em hidden. Under our hair.

katrocket said...

Oh yeah, sorry Chris, I forgot about Hippie Boy! But I'm not allowed to find you attractive anyways, because that might upset your wife and I quite like her. I really cannot imagine you in short hair. Got any pics?

Chris said...

Me? In short hair? Yeah, I have photos, but you're not gonna get your paws on any of 'em... I have a funny-looking head - kind of potatoesque, in a non-artsy kind of way - hence my predelication to hang on to what hair I have as long as I can.

Bert Bananas said...

Kat... I kinda fibbed... I'm not the cue ball of your dreams, aching to be put in your corner pocket... I hope this doesn't sour you on the internet!

I have very thick hair, I have SO much hair! I have hair coming out the wazoo!! (which spell check suggests I spell kazoo, but I'm not going to change it)

katrocket said...

Bert: Do wazoos still function normally when hindered with so much hair? I think that's a good question to Ask Aaron.

pistols at dawn said...

I enjoy hirsute men, mostly because I don't get to use the word "hirsute" often enough.

Once, I was dating such a man, only to discover he was a boar. I'm sorry, I meant "a bore." He was always going on about his tusks.

T said...

Bart Simpson should win this contest 'heads down'. I haven't checked, but he probably has plenty of ref's on MySpace... -I'm surprised Bert didn't catch this since it IS his fav' TV show.

Hey Kat, inside Bananas info: Bert recently talking to his wife on his cell phone - "Yes honey, I like the conditioner that smells like peaches... -yes, I know you just bought some, but I need more!"

Another note: Your recent for-headshot displays a kickin' hairdo.

katrocket said...

Pistols is gay?????!!!!

Bert is married????????!!!!

Ah crap.

Thanks t - An intentionally messy-bedhead hairdo was the best lifestyle choice I've made in years. Low maintenance, and people think I'm just too cool to give a f*** about my hair. But I am tempted to post some old photos of my stupidest haircuts - if no one else submits photos, I want that prize!

katrocket said...

I can't believe I didn't say "fuck" on my own blog.

N'offense kids, but it's one of my favourite words. It's right up there with "pants" and "couscous"

T said...

Bert just uses her (the wife) for food, taxes and sex (in no particular order).
Actually, she's smarter than he and holds out for the curb money, where she invests it on the pool boy (and not his hair).

T said...

If you start replacing 'uc' with '**', I'm outta here!

pistols at dawn said...

Oh, I'm not gay, Kat. That was a brief dalliance with the other side that lasted from 1983 to 2001. A phase, if you will. Michael Stipe was very convincing in those days. I just need the right woman or team of Swedish supermodels to turn me around.

And I concur that you look wicked stylish now. You know who never has? Me. And I just sent you the proof.

katrocket said...

Oh my. Now that's what I call winning style!

The Guv'ner said...

I have some highly incriminating pics of myself from the late '80s that would put you all to shame, I can assure you. Since I'm (phew!) not home till later in the week, I won't be sharing them, QUELLE DOMAGE. Let's just say if you put Ian McCullogh of Echo and the Bunnymen into a laundremat drier on the high setting with a whole vat of hair gel,and a crazed barber, it wouldn't even come close to the level of nasty we're talking here.

katrocket said...

Guv'nah: Bring it on! It will never be too late to share your eighties-ness! You have nothing to be ashamed of, because NO ONE looked good in the 80s. I think we were all high on Aspartame and it created a mass worldwide delusion of coolness.

pistols at dawn said...

Yes, Guv'ner! Shame yourself for my amusement!

And plus, if you were Echo-esque, that's a lot cooler than a lot of the other folks were (see: folks old enough to buy their own clothes during a period in which they loved Poison).