Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Question Period with Katrocket

I've got no blog-worthy stories for you this week, (well, except for my second squirrel attack in 3 months, which I'm saving for later) ...so I'm going to ripoff an idea from my excellent friend Aaron Edwards, the Superhero of the East Village. Also, I should mention that überblogger Todd (of Death Wore a Feathered Mullet) recently made a similar post that inspired me to rip off him and Aaron at the same time. Thank you, gentlemen muses.

Aaron used to have a column in Tampa's Orange Magazine (now defunct) called "Ask Aaron Anything", where he would give advice about social situations, and research answers to the burning questions in your life, like "what's the first name of Mrs. Claus?" (it's Jessica, dumbass) . I used to e-mail Aaron and ask him things like : "Did you get that thing I sent you?" Or "Does V-8 go with tequila?" Those were heady times.

So I invite you to join Question Period With Katrocket this week. I do not offend easily, so anything goes... but I do reserve the right to mock your question if it's super lame. Please note that any questions about "lamé" are entirely welcome. So many words get better when you add french accents!



16 comments:

aaron said...

how many sex toys do you own?

The Guv'ner said...

WHOA...

v8 and tequila! I am SO writing that down for my next meltdown. Tell me it was the berry splash flavor and not the carrot juice. Because that would surely be a felony wasting tequila on a vegetable.

Oh a question! What's the deal with mounties? You might always get your man but surely it takes a hell of lot longer. And where do they put the siren? That's technically two questions, I know.

katrocket said...

O Aaron - always getting right to the good stuff. Three, not counting two additional "novelty items" given to me as gag gifts, which have good visual impact, but will never get into my pants.

Guv'ner: V-8 (vegetable) and tequila was not so good. I didn't even consider berry splash. D'oh!

The RCMP (aka Gendarmerie) is Canada's federal police force. The Red Serge & Stetson (uniform) and horses are solely used for special ceremonies (and entertaining tourists). They strap the siren with red flashing light to the top of their bigass hats. Today's Mounties on active duty look like any other police force, and they drive fast cars, which makes it easy to cruise... I mean, get their man.

steakbellie said...

"Where are all the Snowdens of yesteryear?"

pistols at dawn said...

If a tree falls on me in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, how long will it take a medical emergency crew to arrive and what are my chances of survival? I'm writing from underneath the tree, so I've got a lot wagered on this answer...

Steve Caratzas said...

Will the Maple Leafs ever win the Stanley Cup again?

Chris said...

If you're in the woods, and you push a tree over on someone, but there's nobody there to hear it, do you get in trouble anyway? Not that this has ever happened, mind you - I'm just askin'...

katrocket said...

steakbellie: "Who is Spain? Why is Hitler? When is Right?" You clever little bastard.

pistols: Are you going to state your location so I can calculate the time an distance factor, or are you just going to lie there like a dying smartass? Have a snack while I make some calls, ok?

Steve C: Of course they will! The law of averages is on their side, and hopefully in the future, some better players as well. I feel in my heart that Sundin will bring home The Cup before he leaves us.

Chris: I'm going to say yes, because everyone gets into trouble eventually for doing "bad things". Crime doesn't pay, and neither does delinquent forestry. Hey, next time you're out there in the woods, keep your eye out for Pistols. I think he might be hurt.

pistols at dawn said...

I'm in the wild forests of Northern Iowa, which means the only tree for miles around fell on me. What are the odds?

Also, I must have lost a lot of blood, because I could swear this tree is cackling to itself and humming "Sweet Leaf."

I would note, though, that even as my capacity for rational thought ebbs from my mind, I know the Leafs are hopeless. Sundin is old and Bates Battaglia is too funny a name for him to be any good. The days of Dougie Gilmour and Felix the Cat are long gone, Leaf Nation.

katrocket said...

Pistols: That's an awesome coincidence that you're in Iowa. So is Chris! Reading back, I'm thinking perhaps he's the guy who pushed the tree on you. Nice work, Mr. Radloff.

I will NEVER stop believing that Lord Stanley's Cup will return to it's birthplace. I may not live to see it, but WE SHALL OVERCOME.

Chris said...

Don't look at me, I didn't do anything. I'm just sitting here on this log, humming old Metallica songs to myself...

pistols at dawn said...

Chris seems like too nice a gent to be responsible for this. I'd like to blame nature, because I am so tired of the pro-Earth lobby getting all the attention. There are two sides to every issue, jerks. The pro-Earth media won't tell you that, of course...

Oh, right, questions. So many stars...

Can you prevent yourself from bleeding out by drinking from your wounds? It's sort of blood recycling. And if so, will this turn me into a vampire?

katrocket said...

Pistols: you are correct in your assessment of Chris. He's one of the nicest guys I know.

About the bleeding: you really grossed me out with that question. Congratulations. I would recommend Always pads. They have wings!

pistols at dawn said...

I suppose this should have preceded that question: "Will my next question be disgusting?" I blame a doctor father bringing up all sort of maladies over years of dinners making me completely unable to discern what is and isn't gross.

Leonesse said...

Hmmm, a bloody, dying man underneath the only tree in the wilds of Iowa with someone humming Metallica sitting on top.

Sounds like dinner to me.



My questions would be:

Can we crash at your place when we all flee The Country Formerly Known As America?

AND...
A hydrogen atom, initially at rest in the n = 4 quantum state, undergoes a transition to the ground state, emitting a photon in the process. What is the speed (in terms of m/s) of the recoiling hydrogen atom?

katrocket said...

leonesse: Wow! That's a challenge! I should have qualified this post with "ask me anything that isn't math related". I'm going to go with 5.4 m/s, because I'm feeling lucky today.

And don't you worry - when the Revolution comes, there are contingency plans in place: 2 pull-out sofas and a sleeping bag. BYOB!