Monday, June 18, 2007

Bum of the Week

Dear Listeners:

Your host has been so busy over the past week that she's been taking the cheap and easy way out, trying to pacify you with lo-fi images of dirty pillows. We, the Management, want you to know that this goes against Rocketradio's mandate of bringing you mildly plausible stories and fresh commentary on stale current events.

Upon receiving her third and final warning regarding her absentee behaviour and half-assed writing habits, Miss Rocket flipped us the bird and went out to get her hair done. (see final result at left, with offensive gesture edited for decency)

This sharp decline in performance has earned her the dubious honour of being named our Bum of the Week. Folks around the station have also nominated her for "Ass of the Week", something to do with a recent incident in the staff kitchen. Apparently someone violated all the lunches in the refrigerator by taking them out of their carefully labelled bags and switching the contents with other bags until no lunch was safe from the tide of mayhem. An investigation is pending. Your patience during this difficult time is greatly appreciated.


Rocketradio Management Board


pistols at dawn said...

This is the note I should like to receive from my editor: "Now THAT's mildly plausible!"

I am amazed with the amount of lunchroom hijinks that ensues in the average workplace full of grown-ass adults. I once worked for a small company where work was completely suspended to have a meeting where our boss queried us all who ate the accountant's sandwich. We were then required to search for it for half an hour.

The worst part is, I'm not even sure that was the most ridiculous thing I had to do that day.

Chris said...

Huh. To think I know people who violate lunches.

katrocket said...

No!!! Don't listen to their corporate propaganda!!!! I'VE BEEN FRAMED!! They have no evidence!

I have better things to do with my time: Like calling up people to ask if their refrigerators are running.

Leonesse said...

I'm thinking lunches aren't the only thing Kat has violated.

Bert Bananas said...

Is the name Violet short for Violated? If I paid to have my 'lunch' touched, it's not really a violation, right?

T said...

First of all, the hair kicks ass!

Second, I was under the impression that someone rubbed their butt all over everyone else's lunch. But then the investigation would be a hoot, with the boss going around sniffing ass until one smelled of cheese.

Mmmm, ass-cheese.