Sunday, July 29, 2007

Cabbies are more popular than me

I recently noticed that whenever I ride in a taxi cab, the driver spends almost the entire duration of the ride on his cell phone. I know you think I must be exaggerating about this: "Oh, surely not EVERY TIME, Kat."

YES I TELL YOU. EVERY SINGLE TIME!

It's not that I really have a problem with this. I'm not questioning their right to talk on the phone while they dangerously navigate my way home, even if it IS against the law to talk and drive in Toronto (hands-free is ok).

The thing that bothers me (or more accurately, my fragile ego), is that they seem a lot more popular than me, which stings a little because I don't smell like B.O. and have mustard stains all over the front of my shirt. I have no idea what these guys are talking about, because it's always in a language I don't understand. Who are they talking to? It's not their Dispatcher, because they have a separate radio for that. But they are usually very animated, and they take call after call like it's a freaking telethon or something. I mean, I'm a bit of a social butterfly, and I'm lucky if I average 3 calls a day, and one of those is usually someone looking for money.

I like to imagine these guys are "planning something big" - a massive Taxi Revolution that will bring chaos and excitement to my city. It's easier than entertaining the disturbing thought that my so-called-social-life is exponentially more boring than that of a guy who spends 12 hours a day behind the wheel of a car.

12 comments:

T said...

First Pistols reports on his date with someone cast in the Flower-Power Hour and now you talk about annoying taxi drivers instead of an incredible weekend of club-hopping, nude photography and bungy jumping while taking pictures of other budgy-jumpers who are nude and jumping off the top of a popular Toronto Night Club.

Honey, your life is MUCH BETTER than that of Habbib the taxi driver.

pistols at dawn said...

First off, I'd like to note that I was not on a date with this woman - the "date" was with a different woman the previous evening.

Secondly, Kat's point is well taken, and fits in well with my confusion at why the receptionist at every office I've ever worked at has been on the phone with a friend at all times. Who are these people they're talking to?

And then I realized: people with the same job, or no job at all. However, the receptionist doesn't have something more important to worry about, like Not Killing You In A Crash.

Why these guys get more calls than you: because they're always available. People just assume you're doing something fabulous at all times, ergo the dearth of calls. Also, when you're a rank person with a stained wardrobe, it's a lot easier to find your own, and it's not like they've ever got anything else to do with their lives besides talk to each other.

katrocket said...

Well, T, there was certainly cocktails, friends, friends with cocktails, friends with cock, friends with tales, and all things in between, but I refrain because I'd hate to give you the impression I'm a slut, when really, I rarely put out. I'm more of a roving reporter who hangs out with sluts in exchange for exclusive photo rights.

No nude photography (that's next weekend), but I think "budgy jumping" could be my new favourite sport. Those little birds can't be more than 3 or 4 inches high, so I'd probably be pretty good at it.

Thank you for the reassurance gentlemen, I feel better about things now.

T said...

Jumping a budgy (stupid auto-correcting software) would be right up there with caging a pussy. -A bitch to catch, but so rewarding when successful.

Chris said...

Is budgy-jumping similar to parrot-shooting?

pistols at dawn said...

So what you're saying is you know the general whereabouts of numerous loose women, and although everyone technically has an "in" with them, you could introduce us?

I may need to relocate to Toronto for a few months...you know, to be embedded with them.

As a journalist.

Writing for Penthouse Forum.

katrocket said...

I might need to remove that comment now. It will surely haunt me.

Bert, the Bulging Banana said...

Most cabbies have "knee cams" set up for the back seat. They call them by another name.

I'm sure the cabbies are all talking to each other about "knee shots" they've gotten or are getting and I bet the animation you see in your driver has to be taken as a compliment.

Also, while budgy-jumping definitely has its obvious draws, I see you more as a bulgey-jumper. At least in my dreams . . .

The Guv'ner said...

Jumping a budgie is a little scary and unnecessarily sexual (or is that just me?). Who thinks it I mean. Not...

Taxi drivers in NYC are exactly the same. They have a radio in one hand and a phone in the other and...wait...who's driving the cab!?!

I remember feeling triumphant back when I was learning to drive, when on my first ever lesson, while driving through Times Square a cab tried to squeeze in a much too small space between me and another cab and I managed to clip his mirror clean off. Not bad for a beginner. Usually you have to wait weeks to assault a taxi.

T said...

How did we go from bungy-jumping to pudgy-humping,--and with the help of a parakeet?

-it wasn't me...

Leonesse said...

Does T stand for Tweety? I think I found the segue right there.

Kat, my life is so boring that it takes a town of freaks to entertain me. You had one night where Habbib was the entertainment, I have a 24/6 workfest intermingled with what my first customer of the day called "Steven Kingville".

Jana said...

You guys are so funny....
Thanks for the laugh