Monday, August 6, 2007

Celine's Got Game!

Bonjour mes amis! It's Céline here, and you will not believe it! You may think it not possible to get bored of being worshipped on stage twice a day by my fabulous gay dancers, but my immense talents cannot be harnessed to just one tacky freakshow. Mais non! I am going to be a game show host this fall!

To celebrate my long time friend Julie Snyder's 40th birthday, I will guest host an episode of her TV game show inspired by "Deal or No Deal" called Le Banquier , (or The Banker for all you dirty Anglos). Julie is uh... en baiser... with Pierre Karl Pelédeau, the President and CEO of the giant TVA network in Québec, and she must be a fantastique girlfriend because he give her a TV game show last January. She already have jewels and cars and chateaux, so he run out of good ideas, I guess. Les Québecois love the game shows more than anything else except maybe eating cheese.

In this episode, I will play host, and my darling husband Rrrréné Angelil is "the Banker" and Julie will be the contestant!! Isn't that just crazy? Just like the big national banks in Canada, Réné is quite good at losing other people's money (mostly mine) while gambling, so of course he is the perfect choice to play the Banker! He also has this cute outfit (pictured here) that he sometimes wears when he play poker and also fun bedroom game we call "Deposit et Withdrawl", so I ask him to wear it for the taping, even though it will take much control to keeps my hands off his sexy body! Ooooh la la!

At the end of the show, we will donate all of the prize money to the Ste. Justine Hospital Foundation as well as the Fondation pour la Recherche de la Moelle Épinière, which is the Spinal Cord Research Foundation, for all you heathens who do not speak the French. This special episode is scheduled to air on TVA this fall. Stay tuned mes petits choux!

9 comments:

The Guv'ner said...

I am having a good old chortle at RRRRRRRRene. Honestly, could a dude exude more "I am old and sleazy and want to put my pee-pee in your hoo-ha!"?

pistols at dawn said...

Man, oh man. Hearing that Celine Dion is going to host a show I've never heard of in a genre of entertainment I already hate is like hearing someone at Arby's say, "Mr. at Dawn, your trash and pubic hair salad is ready."

katrocket said...

Sorry Pistols, not every post can be about food and boobs. Perhaps it's time for me to start a second blog called "Cake and Tits"?

pistols at dawn said...

Cake and Tits? It's like all of my dreams come true, or at least the store that I'd spend all of my days browsing in.

Steve Caratzas said...

Better to stick with the feather dusting of the mummy's crotch pics, methinks.

Snooze said...

I think I must avoid TVA for a bit.

Blank Field said...

I just hope you'll sing.

As I have proudly announced on previous occasions, I am the proud possessor of your Greatest Hits album and ... Well, what else can I say?

T said...

Celine - Your man-whore, -I mean Rene, deserves much less than you,--would you not agree?

Dale said...

Sing it with me 'and I know that the hot dogs go on'.