Tuesday, August 7, 2007

We interrupt your regular programming...

dear Rocketradio listeners:

will return
in September.

Miss Rocket will be spending her days writing:

1) HTML code and e-commerce solutions for several websites
2) marketing plans for small businesses
3) a tell-all book of international romance and intrigue
4) steamy letters to selected handsome British actors (and Dale)
5) occasional blog posts as guest DJ on Willy of Oz

... and in recent weeks, this has left very little time to write this blog. The People have spoken, and it has become shamefully apparent to the Management that Miss Rocket's new production schedule is having adverse affects on the overall quality of Rocketradio content.

We sincerely apologize for not meeting your insatiable entertainment demands in recent posts. Miss Rocket is pretty much an 'All or Nothing' kinda gal, which means that for the next few weeks, her clients will benefit from her All, and you, dear listeners, will have to make due with Nothing.

Katrocket will return in September with all new episodes of Rocketradio. Until then, Management will spin her favourite video clips during the month of August.

Have a safe and happy summer!


pistols at dawn said...

Why does everyone I love go away? Is it because I'm usually going all Martin Lawrence on them, waving a loaded pistol and acting crazily?

I told you, that was because I was dehydrated. Not drinking enough fluids during the summer months causes a loaded weapon to materialize in my hand and forces me to walk down the middle of a busy highway in search of a cool, refreshing Sprite.

However, I wish you the best in your production schedule, as well as actually having a list of things to do. My list all involves "killing time during my refractory period." You will be missed, but we'll all quickly invent reasons you weren't right for us anyway.


The Guv'ner said...

I told you, that was because I was dehydrated. Not drinking enough fluids during the summer months causes a loaded weapon to materialize in my PANTS and forces me to walk down the middle of a busy highway in search of a cool, refreshing Sprite and a whore.

There PAD. Fixed it for ya.

Sniff. Kat is too busy for us. Sniff.

pistols at dawn said...

You know me all too well, Guv'ner. There's nothing like a cold, refreshing Sprite after you've given that whore the best eight and a half seconds of her life.

Blank Field said...

What if we take René hostage?

Blank Field said...

Will you at least take time to read other blogs and make arch, tres witty, comments? Can't you at least let us hold out some hope?

T said...

Us pee-ons will dearly miss our International Woman of Intrigue and Sexual Deception, -you born-again-heterosexual deviant.

katrocket said...

Pistols: Did you just call me a whore? It was closer to 5 seconds, jackass.

Guv'ner: I'm never too busy for YOU. I'll be skanking around your blog as usual.

Bert: Rene is all yours. I'm tired of that fat-ass spending my money. Of course I'll drop in and visit you, likely around dinner time because I hear Liz is a great cook.

T: I was a nice girl before you came (into my life).

Chris said...

My life already feels empty. *sniff*

Leonesse said...

I have decided to refuse your resignation much like my former boss refused to let me transfer out of her department.

So, listen here sister... you have more quips coming out of your ass than I can muster with 3 Dr. Peppers and an laxative. I humbly request that you stop by and leave us some small tidbit of Katisms from time to time amongst your devious plans to help Corporate America/Canada (you will be assimilated soon) tell us how many Whosits we should buy and which Whatzits are the must have for the season.

You have surely wrapped us up in your Rocket/Dion web and I will be having withdrawls.

pistols at dawn said...

Kat, I would never cast aspersions on you like that, although I appreciate you spreading the good words about my Olympian stamina. That's right, ladies...five whole seconds that are all about you, and all it costs is a lifetime of shame.

katrocket said...

Oops - I screwed up my comment.

Leonesse: It's not a resignation, it's a sabbatical, which I am fully entitled to under the laws of The Geneva Convention.

Pistols: Okay, now that my error has been rectified, let me first apologize to you, Mr. Dawn, for emasculating your otherwise rock-solid masculinity and downplaying your undeniable prowess in the room where a loser like me only dares to dream (and sleep). And secondly, it's time they knew the whole truth: Pistols is actually a smokin' hot Calvin Klein underwear model who just makes himself sound like an unattractive jerk "to connect with the people who make this country so great", and also "to discourage the fugly chicks from stalking me via the interwebs."

Go get him, girls.

CoffeeDog said...

You're gonna come back, right?

pistols at dawn said...

Ha ha ha, even my usual team of pro-me propagandists don't know what to do with that hagiographic praise. Except "get fired by me" as long as you'll take the job. It doesn't pay, but we can laugh a lot as we oversell the '98 Corolla that is my sex life: it's dependable, reliable, and will get you where you need to go without question, but you'll always be a little ashamed to ride around publicly in it.

Dale said...

How very dare you Katrocket! I just got here and this is how you treat me? You do know I'm a handsome British actor when I'm not blogging right?

katrocket said...

Dale: As a fellow Torontonian, YOU have the magical power to spend more time with The Real Katrocket Experience than anyone else here, and yet you continue to ignore my advances, and call the police whenever I "loiter" in front of your house with my camera.

Your mixed messages confuse and excite me. Keep up the good work.

katrocket said...

Pistols: The great thing about a '98 Corolla is that no one ever tries to steal it away from you. Even when it's not wearing pants.

Dale said...

You're right Katrocket, I'm presently rethinking the restraining order and barbed wire.