Saturday, December 8, 2007

Happy Birthday Katrocket

Rocketradio has long hosted a popular feature known as The Birthday Wish, whereby a mildly embarrassing tribute is dedicated to Katrocket's favourite bloggers. Well, it's Katrocket's birthday today, so The Management would like to get this post out of the way before the six monkeys we hired to write content during the WGA strike get all drunk and start hurling insults (and poo).

This year, we take a glimpse into the secret life of our Host, with...

Fun Facts About Katrocket:

1. Katrocket's partnership with alcohol began at an early age, when she instinctively gravitated toward imports. (Photo courtesy of Aaron Edwards)









1. Katrocket has impeccable handwriting.















2. In 1987, the Vatican hired a young, mulleted Katrocket to market Pope John Paul II to a younger audience. She also is responsible for the name "John Paul II", after successfully arguing that the name Karel was "a bit girlie". Father Wojtyla was asked to pick his new name out of a giant pointy hat, which, unbeknownst to him, included only the first names of the Beatles. It is only by divine miracle that the world never came to know Pope Ringo George II.


3. Katrocket had a brief, but exciting fling with Canadian Formula 1 driver Jacques Villeneuve -- in her mind. She maintains to this day that his horrendous CD of cheesy French love songs is "all about the Rocket".




4. Katrocket has been a commuter's advocate for several years, and is about to knock the Toronto Transit Commission on its ass with her proposal to replace the lame and ineffective "TTC Special Constables" with "Hot Scantily Clad Chicks With Guns". Because no one disobeys an armed woman in panties.




5. Katrocket once made Chuck Norris a sandwich. It was the greatest sandwich he has ever tasted. He then went on to kick the world's ass.








Happy Birthday Katrocket.

The Management and HR Department here at Rocketradio looks forward to another year of warning letters and lawsuits. Please try to be sober for your shift on Monday.

11 comments:

Dale said...

What was in that sandwich? I think it's time you made him another one.

Happy Birthday!!

CoffeeDog said...

Happy Birthday!

Bill Pocock said...

And many more, O Queen of Komedii!

That's a great idea with the TTC StormChicks. Hey if Armani can do the Italian cops, why not some uber sexy designer for the TTC?

Chris said...

Happy Birthday To You.
Happy Birthday To You.
Happy Birthday Dear Kaaaaaattt,
Happy Birthday To You.

pistols at dawn said...

I presume you're still sleeping one off, and deservedly so. Happy birthday, Ms. Rocket.

The Guv'ner said...

DUDE belated happy birthday!!! I had cake today in your honour (OK it was in MINE from some friends who had brought it for my belated birthday, but I thought about you EVERY BITE honest!) Hope your day was fab and that you spent it (mentally) in bed with your driver dude. Yeah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN OF ROCKETS...

Snooze said...

Happy Belated!!!!

I love your idea for the TTC. That would really make it the better way.

Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

Happy birthday -- and congrats on that awesome sandwich.

pistols at dawn said...

I'm not sure which is bigger: my cakehole around cake, or the hole in my heart when you don't post.

Leonesse said...

I have been remiss in relating my chagrin at not posting this ditty sooner, but...

Happy Birthday.

I wish you a fantastically orgasmic dream with your Number One Formula One. He just may be "the one", you never know.

Grant Miller said...

You should totally bring that hair back.