According to British "psychologist" Cliff Arnall's calculations, January 21st is supposed to be "the saddest day of 2008". He even came up with a mathematical formula for the most depressing day of the year, which he calls the Blue Monday Formula:
1/8w + (D-d) 3/8 x TQM x NA
CBC news reports: "At the behest of the British travel industry, Arnall devised a Blue Monday formula that calculates factors such as weather, debt, time passed since Christmas, failed New Year's resolutions, low motivation and the need to take action."
Really, Cliff? People get all fucking depressed in January? And it's because they're all fat and broke and living in a Frozen Darkness that Knows No End? That IS a bombshell!
However, I heard that Americans have the day off today. I dunno, something to do with MiLK. I personally don't believe that any day off work can possibly be "the worst day" of any given year, but I guess that's just how I roll. Maybe if I was lactose intolerant, it really would be the worst day of 2008.
Anyways, while Cliff was making up Crazy Math on his fancy calculator in order to explain why people with so much wealth and privelege are complaining about their miserable little lives, I was leading the fight against the S.A.D. with a Special Formula of my own. Before today, I was calling it "vodka and cough syrup on the rocks with a Vicodin chaser", but I must admit, it really does sound a lot cooler when you name it after a New Order song, so now I'm calling my formula: "Bizarre Love Triangle".
happy January 21st!