Monday, January 21, 2008

Blue Monday

According to British "psychologist" Cliff Arnall's calculations, January 21st is supposed to be "the saddest day of 2008". He even came up with a mathematical formula for the most depressing day of the year, which he calls the Blue Monday Formula:

1/8w + (D-d) 3/8 x TQM x NA

CBC news reports: "At the behest of the British travel industry, Arnall devised a Blue Monday formula that calculates factors such as weather, debt, time passed since Christmas, failed New Year's resolutions, low motivation and the need to take action."

Really, Cliff? People get all fucking depressed in January? And it's because they're all fat and broke and living in a Frozen Darkness that Knows No End? That IS a bombshell!

However, I heard that Americans have the day off today. I dunno, something to do with MiLK. I personally don't believe that any day off work can possibly be "the worst day" of any given year, but I guess that's just how I roll. Maybe if I was lactose intolerant, it really would be the worst day of 2008.

Anyways, while Cliff was making up Crazy Math on his fancy calculator in order to explain why people with so much wealth and privelege are complaining about their miserable little lives, I was leading the fight against the S.A.D. with a Special Formula of my own. Before today, I was calling it "vodka and cough syrup on the rocks with a Vicodin chaser", but I must admit, it really does sound a lot cooler when you name it after a New Order song, so now I'm calling my formula: "Bizarre Love Triangle".

happy January 21st!


Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

It's really just banks and government workers that get MLK's birthday off. HEy, maybe that's why the rest of us are so sad?!

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

I don't know - yesterday blew for me. I think those scientists may be onto something. I'm still going to the gym though.

pistols at dawn said...

I always call masturbation "Touched by the Hand of God" for the same reason.

Chris said...

Oh great. Pistols is feeling a little cocky again.

My wife had MLK Day off yesterday. She's the only person I've ever known personally who actually got to take that day off. I sat around, indeed, being depressed yesterday. I blew a nut Friday and the Packers lost Sunday, and Monday found me at home sans booze. I was, yes indeed, depressed.

Grant Miller said...








That's my cover of "Blue Monday."

Dale said...

I thought it was the 24th! I've never been good at math though and have now wasted all that prep time.

I love New Order, aerobics music always gets me going. :-)

Beth said...

Not all Americans got the day off. And now I'm sad thinking about that.

The Guv'ner said...

I got MLK day off! So did most of NYC it seems. And God bless MLK for that.

January is just a depressing-assed cold month where it's too much effort to do anything. Besides everyone knows the most depressing day of the year has to fall on a goddamn Tuesday. Tuesdays should be outlawed. I'm not down with Tuesdays at all. They can bite me hard.

Bizarre Love Triangle is a great song but Blue Monday makes me want to kill people so maybe Cliff had a point after all.