Remember your elementary school science fair? It was that anxious time of year when middle school students were required to do some lame experiment and then make those 3 walls out of crappy bristol board and paste a bunch of charts and graphs on it. Yeah, oodles of fun, man.
The science fair at my school was utterly predictable: killing plants in various creative ways; volcanoes; homemade rockets; jars of rusty nails (sadly not the delicious cocktail variety); jars of rotting teeth. Oh, and there's that one kid whose dad was an engineer and had built him a badass Galton box or a freakin' laser light show. That kid always won, and I can't say I learned anything from the experience except that cheaters always prosper, science fairs really suck, and I wasn't ever gonna find that cure for cancer like my parents had hoped.
But after stumbling upon a motherlode of science fair pics on Flickr, I discovered that today's kids still carry the torch, and endeavor to solve the world's escalating problems using their awesome powers of scientific reasoning. The future of science (and the planet) is in very deep trouble, people.
Just click on images if you want to enlarge them.
Drop It Like It's Hot
Something to do with dropping hot things. Any kid who bases his science fair project on a Snoop Dogg song is alright by me. Seven years from now, I'll be buying dope off this guy. What's that on the table? A plate of potato chip crumbs? A half-eaten piece of pizza? Who cares - he's got your munchies covered. I love his winning attitude, so I'm awarding him Best in Show.
Is Bigger Always Better?
Yes, boys. Always. Just ask your mom.
Nail That Wood
Ring me up in 15 years and we'll talk about this some more.
Who's Your Daddy?
Oh, she'll find out soon enough. I love the paper heart detailing. It says: "I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me."
Make a Dotcom
He's twelve, and already carries the smug confidence of a sleezebag who runs a highly lucrative porn site from his smelly bedroom. Just check out the look on his face. This dude is already wealthier than you.
The Sphincter: Gateway to the scatalogical
Whatcha got in the cup there, kiddo? It better be chocolate.
Garlic: The Silent Killer
Really? Man, I hope not. I love garlic. But it's the silent romance killer, for sure. Sorta like those pants you've got hiked up to your tits.
Plants and Pop
A last-minute entry from a kid who forgot it was the science fair that day. So he stole two of his mom's plants, a bottle of 7-Up from the fridge, and scribbled down some "facts" on 3-ring binder paper during the bus ride to school. Then he borrowed some packing tape and stuck that crap on the back of someone else's science fair project. How do I know all this? I was this guy once. He'll turn out just fine if he can keep his heart from exploding.
Crystal Meth: Friend of Foe?
Another favourite of mine, solely for the byline "friend or foe?" This is the kind of science that kids can really get behind. These young ladies appear to have done some fairly extensive research on the subject. It's pure coincidence that they both share the last name "Jones".
Music and Sex
Two more gals who've thrown themselves into their research work for the good of all humanity.
I'm not certain that this boy fully understood the assignment. But his presentation is pretty nice, so I'll bet this was one of the more popular projects among the students. Hell, I'd give him an A if he could introduce me to Peja Stojakovic. I could eat Serbian almost every day.
Delirum Tremens (the DTs)
The photos of Mel Gibson and Barney, paired with the "thumbs up" from a guy who should have graduated 6 years ago, earn this one an Honourable Mention.
Teats: An Exhaustive Comparative Study
Here's a guy who understands that
female nudity + showmanship + charm = ratings.
Kudos for giving the masses exactly what they want from weeks of scientific exploration: Teats!
Do Video Games Affect You?
Clearly they have affected this particular kid. But let's give this boy props for figuring out how to combine his gaming habit with a homework assignment. The skull hoodie is pure science anarchy.
I dunno honey, you tell me.