Friday, March 28, 2008

To-do list for Elisabeth Hasselbeck

1. Stop sparking dumbass arguments with people who are way smarter than you. This applies to every guest and all your co-hosts. No exceptions.

2. Stop interrupting your guests with your ridiculous right-wing opinions. No one is interested in the thoughts and feelings of a Survivor reject.

3. Stop baiting Whoopi with your ridiculous right-wing opinions. No one is interested in Whoopi either, but at least she had a career once.

4. Listen to Mama Walters when she tells you shut your gaping piehole.

5. "Die in a fire."

18 comments:

ginger b said...

Friends don't let friends watch "The View".

I advise you to turn your television off immediately! This is for your own good...

katrocket said...

Oh, I'm way ahead of you Ginger, but I appreciate your concern. I'm not a View-viewer, but I watched a bit of their interview with Obama today. Serves me right. I was looking for Obama drama, and got a fucking headache instead.

Falwless said...

It had to be said and you're just the one to say it. The universe thanks you.

Beth said...

I occasionally watched "The View" in its early days. The current crop of host just bore me. And I have a job now.

red said...

God. She is the worst.

doorknob_dan said...

Wait! Isn't she David Hasslehoff's wife?? Is my story all screwed up?

The Guv'ner said...

Ginger got there first, you need to back away from the daytime TV STAT, missy. Or don't. Then you can make snide comments and I can laugh all day.

Bluzlover said...

I have no idea who this person is, but, I love your suggestions. I laughed aloud to number 5! If Baba Wawters knows better, then this Elisabeth must be a slug. She looks like a mannequin in the picture. That's probably an insult to mannequins.

Grant Miller said...

I'm very interested in the thoughts and feelings of a Survivor reject.

CoffeeDog said...

I have never watched The View. Based on your analysis, I might have to tune in next week.

TWSB said...

I couldn't agree with you more, especially point number 5. That woman needs to shut the hell up.

Dale said...

Couldn't they give her a segment like they used to with 'Dare Debbie' when they repeatedly hoped Debbie Matenopoulous would just die doing something on the show saving them the need to fire her?

Chris said...

The sad part is that I've started actively hating the Seattle Seahawks just because of what Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck's wife says on daytime TV... She's ruining football for me! I hate her! I hate her!

Dagmar used to watch The View occasionally if she happened to be home, but she saw this Elisabeth lady once (once!) and has never watched the show since. She said it made her sick.

pistols at dawn said...

#5 made me laugh aloud. I was a classmate of Ms. Filarksi's at a certain school I was happy to drop out of for being full of people like Ms. Filarksi.

BeckEye said...

6. Spell your name with a Z, like it's supposed to be.

Maybe that just bothers me.

Blank Field said...

"... This applies to every guest..."

I read that as ... The nipple of every guest... and was very happy.

Thank you.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

oh THAT's where she's from- Survivor! I always knew I recognized her from somewhere.

T said...

The chick is somewhat hot, which is far beyond anyone else on that stupid-ass show.

I see it as a 4 v 1. Four emotional babblers against one with the courage to stick up for the right. And I always root for the underdog,--or in her case, the under-me-hottie.

Oh, and please keep in-context when criticizing those you dislike. I know, we as bloggers, are best at plagiarizing the "out-of-context", but this one was too easy.

OK, #5 was a little funny.