I have enlisted the help of a leading expert on the subject of Idol Men, Ms. Beckeye of The Pop Eye, along with my cousin, Big Boss, who is the Tour Manager for the top 12 winning contestants on Canadian Idol. Special thanks to both of them...
Note: Beckeye gave me a long list of contenders, too many to feature here, although I disqualified many of them for looking more like pretty gay men, not old lesbians. Examples: Constantine Maroulis, Ace Young, R.J. Helton, and Ejay Day.
Clay Aiken - way too easy.
Jason Castro - I'm posting this again because some of you are hot for this dude, and I sorta figure it might be a good recruiting ad.
Anthony Federov - If he didn't want to be on this list, he should not have worn the official uniform.
Justin Guarini - I'm on the fence about this guy, because it totally depends on the photo. I'm including him because I used to date a woman with hair like that. She shed too much, so I broke up with her.
Chris Sligh - Most likely waiting for a call from Judd Apatow.
Danny Noriega - Not a finalist, but DAMN. She's fierce!
Ryan Seacrest (host) - Will probably get dykier as he ages. Can't wait.
Ryan Malcolm (Canadian Idol winner, 2003) - He doesn't look like this anymore, because now he's a frontman for an "indie rock band", so he's sporting the hipster-doofus look. Their album, however, includes several songs about lesbians. Coincidence?
Kalan Porter (Canadian Idol winner, 2004) - Canadian tweens love a pretty Idol. I actually met this kid at a Big Boss BBQ, and he's a genuine sweetheart, so I'll go easy on him. He works hard to look like this, so I'm sure he'll be thrilled to make the list.
Billy Klippert (Canadian Idol - 3rd place, 2003) - If it wasn't for the beard, I would swear this is my friend, Deb.
15 comments:
"If it wasn't for the beard, I would swear this is my friend, Deb."
hahahahaha
Season 5's Bobby Bennett is a good contender, too.
Oh snap, I forgot one of this year's quickly eliminated Top 24-ers, Garrett Haley! He's like the third Indigo Girl.
You guys are funny...
I actually know Billy Klippert so I don't agree with what was said about him! if you had the chance to meet him then this stupid opinion of yours would change.
Anonymous: And I actually know Deb, and she really does look like Billy Klippert, so I doubt my opinion will ever change. I normally hate cowardly assholes who hide behind the name "anonymous", but you're fucking hilarious.
I *AM* Billy Klipper! And I am a lesbian!
Okay, I'm not. But I'm hoping to push Anonymous over the deep end.
So, you can't look like an old lesbian and still be a nice guy, anonymous? Is that what you're trying to say??
My anonymous commenters could kick your ass, anonymous commenter. You didn't even use all caps. What kind of an anonymous commenter are you?
It is scary how right on you are! Squint your eyes a little, imagine them wearing a 1950's evening gown...WOW! That's funny shit!
Anonymous; Having no distinctive character or recognition factor.
Say no more.
If it wasn't for the beard.... ahahahahahahahhah
All of these ladies look like they're ready to bore me with stories about their adorable Australian terrier.
wow-- eye candy!! HAWT N' SPICY eye candy!!
I can't help it-- I've got a maj-ah crush on dreds, on women or men and I TOTALLY go for androdogeny. or however you spell it. Now I need to go use th' restroom for a few minutes, thankee...
I think that Jason dude is really Alanis Morisette. You never see them together.
Aw, Kalan Porter really is like the nicest dude ever...why the jab?
LOL, funny blog, Deb must be hot.
Because of you I lost 5 minutes of my life googling Ryan Malcolm to find his new band and look. Curiosity got the better of me.
I really need to start watching this "American Idol" show everyone is talking about. I feel so out of the loop.
Although, late night cable television has taught me all I could ever want to know about lesbians.
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