Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Return of the Plumber

I wrote a post recently about a visit from the handsome plumber who liked my clean can. Well, I was delighted to receive a second notice just two days ago from building maintenance, informing me that the plumber would be back to "check out your leaky faucet". Apparently the handsome plumber sent a work order to the building manager that indicated a burning need for "follow-up work on her pipes" and "a more thorough inspection".

It was the sexiest work order ever written, full of clever innuendo and hot naughty suggestions. I mean, the plumber already fixed my taps, so my faucet was not leaking anymore. Surely he must have made up some lame excuse just to see me again, right?

He was scheduled to come yesterday, sometime between 8am and 5pm, so I did what any infatuated, desperate single girl would do: my hair and make-up. I changed out of my traditional home-worker uniform of a t-shirt and sweats, and put on some sexy jeans and a low-cut blouse. I was smokin' hot, and smelled totally delicious.

So imagine my utter surprise and raging disappointment when a guy who looks like this knocked on my door:

Yeah, I know.

Try not to be jealous of me.

The new and not-even-remotely-handsome plumber finished up the job in less than two minutes (typical male), grunted something I couldn't understand (probably "hey, nice ass" or something like that) , packed up his tools and left.

I wonder if he'll ever call?


ginger b said...


Call the plumbing agency and ask for the plumber that came last week.

If he's not there, leave a message with your phone number saying he left some tools at your place and to please call you back so that you may return them.

When he calls, well...just own up. Hey, I lied, you didn't leave anything here accept for burning about a coffee somtime?

Get it girl! Get it!

Falwless said...

Uh oh. Sounds like someone pissed off the universe.

P.S. Not that it's any of my business, but I am both curious and confused about your sexual orientation. Okay, perhaps I should rephrase. I am curious, confused and aroused.

katrocket said...

ginger b: That sounds like a lot of work to snag a plumber, so I think I'll take a sledgehammer to my showerhead and then be more specific about who they should send to fix it.

Falwless: I don't like the term "bisexual" because it sounds like I'll fuck anyone, which is not the case. So let's just say I'm discerningly ambisextrous.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+1" Jinglebollocks said...

ahhh, th' ol bait n' switch!! Bastards!! Damn them! Damn them all to HELLLLL!!

Oh, and personally, I prefer the term "pansensual". First off, it just kinda sllliiides of the tongue. Second, it gets people to stop and think (always good). Third, it doesn't emphasize the whole SEX part-- cuz maybe I really wanna just touch your body and kiss you and run my fingers through your hair, but I'm not so keen on you actually putting bits of YOUR body into MY body or vice versa. I'm also heavily into cuddling and Platonic sleeping. there's LOTS of people I really don't wanna FUCK, but I'd LOVE to put my arm under their neck, my hand across their middle and just spoon up next to all night breathing in the scent of their hair.

I'm weird that way.

Oh, and the plumber there? I like his arms, but I'd need to put a paper bag o'er his head before that shirt came off.

The Guv'ner said...


Damn and there you were all smelling luscious for...that.

That is pretty disappointing. Still, well done on all those innuendos, they made my day! Smut is my middle name.

steakbellie said...

i'd still do him. I mean, you did get the good jeans out.

Chris said...

Poor Kat.

Falwless said...

Elegantly phrased, Miss. Thank you. I kind of figured that was the case but I didn't want to come out and ask. But then, well, I came out and asked.

katrocket said...

Cap'n Ergo: I agree that pansexual is a good term in theory, however, that is defined as "relating to, having, or open to sexual activity of many kinds", and I'm not into fucking washing machines or vegetables or anything like that. I have a "humans only" policy.

guv'ner: If my tragedy can be someone else's comedy, then I have not lived a life in vain.

steakbellie: Yeah, but by the time I realized I was being too picky, he was long gone.

Chris: Yeah, boohoo, right? haha! It's cool - I suppose I'll get by.

Falwless: No trouble at all. Thanks for coming out on my blog! OMG that's so major!

Leonesse said...

Don't you just have one of those eye masks you coulda thrown on and pretended it was the other plumber? Maybe this one had a better pipe wrench.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+1" Jinglebollocks said...

that is the correct definition of panSEXual. But I said panSENSUAL. I'm not into fucking toaster ovens or cell phones either. I mean, if that's what creams your twinkie, then so be it, but you can keep that shit away from me, thankee, Sai.

Big diff.

(sorry, that's the English Teacher & wordsmith in me comin' out)

katrocket said...

Leonesse: I did say I was desperate, but not enough to bust out any masks or paper bags.

Cap'n: Aaaaah. Sorry, you're right! I stand erected.

Bert Bananas said...

I'm cansensual. But only female cans. Probably something to do with my Mormon upbringing.

pistols at dawn said...

This is why I never get dressed up for anything. Hell, I barely get dressed, let alone dressed up.

Dale said...

Liquid Plumber could have been Lick Wid Plumber but nooooooo.