Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A New Earth

While some of you may be trying to get your shit together by reading that Oprahfied self-analysis book, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, real scientists with jobs are hard at work, searching for "the Earth's twin" in the awesome massivity of our universe. With last week's discovery of three new "super-Earths" (planets similar to our own, but a lot bigger), they have optimistically announced that they are likely to find the Earth's identical twin in another star system within the next five years. You can check out this article if you want all the hot sciencey details.

Planet hunting for M-stars capable of supporting human life is nothing new to astronomers, since finding a habitable planet is the first step toward finding alien life, not to mention human annexation. After all, we'll eventually need a new planet to enjoy and destroy once we've polished off this one.

But one bold astronomer has turned his focus on finding Earth's evil twin. Dr. Ned Wakeling of the Exoplanet Task Force (ETF) suggests that we should be looking for something a lot hipper than what we're stuck with right now; a highly intelligent and diabolical world that is feared by all the other planets, yet admired for its raw, bad-boy sexiness by every hot star in the galaxy.

Although Dr. Wakeling has not made any progress in his research over the past 17 years, he has graciously provided this exclusive artist's rendering of "Earth's Evil Twin" to rocketradio.

We wish him all the luck in the worlds.

8 comments:

Falwless said...

hahahahaha

I was wondering where this was going. I was delightfully surprised.

A++++!

pistols at dawn said...

Awesome.

Though I am surprised it didn't have an eye patch.

J Morgetron said...

Robots. Robots are the answer I tell you! (For everything.)

Bert Bananas said...

Thank goodness our earth has religion.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+1" Jinglebollocks said...

I would so totally move there.

Evil Evil Genius said...

As an evil doppelganger myself, I applaud their efforts in this search. However I will be the first to point out that this is an academic exercise. Even communicating with the closest solar system would take 75 years at the speed of light, and another 75 years for them to reply - that is if they even call back. You know how exoplanets are at returning phone calls.

Sorry to bring facts into the discussion.

Dr Zibbs said...

If I find my evil twin on the duplciate earth I'm definatley going to worka deal out with him. Trust me. I will

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Evil earth looks like a Frank Zappa fan . . .