Tuesday, October 14, 2008

LIVE BLOGGING: Canada Votes!

6:43 p.m. - I'm thinking about live blogging the Canadian election results as the votes are counted. I've never "live blogged" anything before. Maybe it'll be neat-o? I had fun that one time when Chris live blogged Steakbellie at the Wing Bowl. Then again, this election is nowhere near as entertaining as Wing Bowl. Just look at that majestic mutherfucker on the left. Yeah, I'd rather vote for that guy.

7:16 p.m. - On second thought, who the hell would want to read an incredibly boring play-by-play of Canadian election results?

7:18 P.M. - Lots of people! Okay.... two people!

7:23 p.m. - But all my readers are Americans, which is crazy, because ask anyone - I used to hate Americans. You have all shown me how to love you again. Or at the very least, tolerate you again.

7:47 p.m. - Oh wait, House is on tonight. I can take a break, right? Just check in during the commercials?

7:54 p.m. - What? This shit doesn't roll until 10pm? How long do I have to stay up?

8:03 P.M. Oooh! Rick Mercer Election Special is on. I love Rick Mercer. I wish he was running for Prime Minister. He's interviewing Elizabeth May of the Green Party. She's telling an awesome story about baking cookies for her crush Bill Clinton when she was 17 years old and he was 26 and they were working on some campaign together. She's wicked cool, but a makeover wouldn't hurt.

8:25 P.M. - Peter Mansbridge is making toast. Searched Google for a photo of Peter Mansbridge. Grossed myself right out and decided to go with a link to Wikipedia instead.

8:27 P.M. - What?? Blogger has an outage scheduled at 8PM P.D.T.? What's that in Canada time? But don't they realize what I have planned??? I mean, I've been planning this for....oh... about 90 minutes now. Fuckers.

8:39 P.M. - What kind of wine should I pair with election night? Man, I wish The Idea of Progress was here. He would know. I bet he'd say something true, but witty, like "white goes best with swine". I'm more of a red lover. That's right Red and Red, you heard me.

8:49 P.M. - Okay screw this, I'll come back after I watch House. I wonder if he'll cure some mysterious rare disease and show people their true selves by acting out in an unacceptable and anti-social manner? Oh god I hope so.

8:53 P.M. - I'm posting this photo because I have a huge crush on Hugh Laurie.

9:12 P.M. Dammit. House isn't on because the election is on every channel. Duh.

10:33 P.M. - Thinking of the Guvner and having some pie.
10:40 P.M. - Okay, so it's looking like a Conservative minority government, which is exactly what we have right now. I'm tired and it's a sad moment indeed when you're making fucking pie charts to spice up your terrible election coverage.

10:48 P.M. - I don't recommend live blogging.


red said...

Nice! The world needs more Red lovers, right Red?

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Mercer was funny and even ...22 Minutes raised a chuckle or two, for once. (While we're on a CBC-fest, did I mention that I went to see The Hour last week and had my photo taken with Strombo? Highlight of Tuesday, that was).

I want to stay up and watch the fun, but I'm far too tired after a very very early morning today.

katrocket said...

Hey, I went with a merlot, Red!

imaginary reviewer: Who am I kidding? I'll be in bed in an hour and wake up early and post the results.

SkylersDad said...

House loves you also, as a matter of fact, he thinks you smell of newly mown grass!

Poobomber said...

Well, I watched the whole thing unfold on your behalf. It was just as exciting as expected, the results were as expected, and the responses were as expected.

The only thing I didn't expect was Stephane Dion being snarky with a CTV reporter. That was awesome and petty and I want to see it again and again! I wonder if it's on YouTube yet?

Chris said...

Canada has elections? I always thought you guys were a nation governed by butterflies -- a monarchy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA... (Sorry.)

Dr Zibbs said...

I love you.

pistols at dawn said...

This is fantastic. That pie chart did make me miss the Guv, and pie, and possibly the Guv's pie, so I found websites to fill that need.

I'm going to find something worth live blogging about, like my progress on an entire bag of doritos, except it's going to be tough to type with dorito dust all over my hands.

surviving myself said...

House: A doctor who plays by his own rules!

steakbellie said...

go back to the part where you're posting hot pictures of me in a kilt and face paint. Thats what we need more of.

Gwen said...

I loved this! Do it again!

theideaofprogress said...

I would suggest a hearty bottle of Nighttrain to dull the pain.

Live blogging an election? Worries about wine? You've spent far too much time around the Idea of Progress.

Jana said...

Where's the pie?

Grant Miller said...

Too hawt for words.