Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Nigerian Police always get their goat

TRUE STORY: LAGOS (Reuters) - Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," he said.

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.


Police also have good reason to suspect the goat had been involved with an internet phishing scam in the past, e-mailing innocent Americans to solicit help in claiming his family's lost fortune.

The goat's lawyer steadfastly denies the accusations of grand theft auto, and has issued the following statement to news media:

"My client is innocent. We are confident that the evidence will reveal in court that Squirrels are the masterminds behind this crime ring. Everyone knows that goats can't drive stick."

14 comments:

SkylersDad said...

"Goats can't drive stick"... That made me spit I laughed so hard!

Bill Stankus said...

Thieves, goats, cops and witches - that says it all - no way to top that story. Except I wonder what G. Bush & Shotgun Cheney will turn into if they are ever cornered?

Red said...

They're _holding the GOAT in custody_?!!!

(I read the rest of the post, too, btw.)

Dale said...

I never trust a lawyer or a squirrel, I'm sure that goat's up to no good.

Dr Zibbs said...

Yeah this is true.

SouthernBelle said...

I love Evil Mastermind Squirrel, look at his adorable curled mustache!!!

Leanne Pizio said...

Hilarious!
But I have to say, I worked on a goat farm, and if any animal could pull off stealing a car it would be a goat. even with a stick shift.

WendyB said...

WTF? Right after Squirrel Appreciation day? What an outrage! It's a backlash.

Leonesse said...

I believe that is my ex husband. He turned into a goat often. Bastard.

So@24 said...

In other news, that squirrel also is holding a beautiful pinup tied up to railroad tracks.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

HAAHAHAHAAHA!
Those are the funniest animal picss ever!!
The evil squirrel...heheheheeee!

pistols at dawn said...

This is classic, baby. And not the kind of "classic" I refer to derisively to mean "old."

Bluzlover said...

That's hilarious...a phishing scam! I believe the goat plea would stand up in an American court. He was the scape goat...HA!

BeckEye said...

That squirrel is so cute. Even if he tied me to a railroad track, it would be pretty darn hard to stay mad at him.