Monday, June 1, 2009

And the winner is....

Yesterday afternoon, our esteemed buckle jury gathered at the Kathaus to choose a contest winner. The Beevers were there to represent fabulous contest sponsor BBJ , joined by Crystal Visions (Toronto's own Stevie Nicks), Ryan from Food, Booze and Beyond, and Chief Rocket Scientician The Silent Crusader.

Well, the judging panel may have been distracted by too much sangria and raging high school dance flashbacks (courtesy of VH1's 100 One Hit Wonders of the 80's), but after a lengthy debate - we have picked a winner.

Congratulations to tennyson ee hemingway from andy warhol goes shopping!
You will be the first and only Australian to own an Original BBJ Beaver Buckle!

Not only did mr. hemingway's entry intrigue us, but he was the only blogger to submit TWO entries, just in case I didn't receive the first entry. You can't buy that measure of enthusiasm nowadays. It's a good thing too - his first entry was mostly a lot of shameless begging, which we LOVE, but it wasn't as creative as his follow-up attempt. It was the second entry that won our hearts:

What would I do for that belt buckle?
Well, I'd wear it 24/7 for a whole year, take pictures of me wearing it everyday and email them to you.
How's that for commitment?

I am in favour of any commitment that doesn't require me to do anything. And yes, I said that we wouldn't actually force anyone to make good on their promises, but we'd like to reconsider that now. Tennyson, we don't expect you to wear it 24/7 and take a picture every day, but we do want some photos! Details to follow, lucky boy...


It was a very tough decision, so we have a surprise BBJ gift for our runner-up, and a few thanks for our beautiful losers:

The Imaginary Reviewer, who was alleged to be under the influence of Pinot Grigio while penning his submission:

In order to win the beaver buckle I would come and meet you in person, saving the cost of postage. I would also then write an Imaginary Review of our meeting, and make it really impressive, even if I was disappointed. But I probably wouldn't be, of course. But nobody would know if I was.

IR: That's hilarious, and you had us at "saving the cost of postage". We'd love to meet you, and maybe add a dash of pop-style to your upcoming nuptials with a pair of BBJ cufflinks! I'll be in touch soon with more details.



We love Skyler's Dad! We're just a little uneasy about loving his ass, but I'll cook up something awesome for you in the near future, my friend:

Not to one-up Mt Tennyson, but I would put it on and ass-scan myself on the old scanner.

And post it.

Yeahhhhh, post it. That's right...


A submission from a Mr. S. - possibly a blogger, but I'm not sure because I didn't recognize his name. An "A" for effort, sir, but I couldn't get behind the concept of "bag balm":

In order to win this lovely belt buckle, I would trudge across the tundra, mile after mile…or at least walk down to the corner, in search of the Beever Brothel. Once I’ve confirmed that these beavers are the beavers I am looking for, I’d negotiate a deal to polish their tails. Polishing the elusive Beever tail requires patience…and a generous portion of bag balm. This act can be tricky at times, especially with the friskier Beevers. I have found over the years of Beever polishing, that a little tongue behind the ear calms the little rascals down, making the polishing more enjoyable for both partners. I will also need an extraordinary amount of cigars as well, for after a good Beever polishing, I like to kickback and enjoy a fine cigar. After hours, possibly even days of Beever polishing, I’d choose the shiniest of them all and offer her a job…modeling for belt buckles. I know that my proposal is a win for me either way, but think how nice I would look polishing Beevers wearing the polished Beever Belt Buckle with my assless chaps. Thank you for your consideration.


As always, gorgeous ass-flower model and fine jewelry designer WendyB has got game!:

The question is: what WOULDN'T I do for a beaver buckle?

Wendy is a classy lady (classy with a "c", not a "k"), so there's probably a loooong list of things she wouldn't do, but that's cool -- it's the thought that counts!


A truly interesting Beaver cult proposal, from charming Eric the Bored Neoclassical Guy. A terrific offer wrapped up in some slightly dodgy grammar:

I love your beaver item so much, I would craft a fine marble mosaic of
it, then build a marble temple with columns around it, then create a
pantheon of deities and the inevitable following religion of which I
would be the high priest for thousands of years to worship it.


Thanks to everyone for playing!

... and now that I'm finally settled into my new job, and my work hours aren't as long, I look forward to spending a little more time with you all in the coming weeks.


Soda and Candy said...

Aww, congrats Tenny. I'm proud a fellow Aussie won!

It's just a shame that the beaver double entendre isn't as common in Australia.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Woot! Huzzah for a runners up prize! Man, I was so wasted when I wrote that, I'd been drinking pinot grigio (like, three glasses, beeyatches) and then I'd been spinning around for fun. Friday night at Imaginary Review Meadows!

Congratulations to the winner, they are, I'm sure everyone will agree, most worthy.

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

Well, what can I say? Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. I will wear that beaver with pride! Oh, I think my feminine side is coming out quite nicely. Photos WILL be coming! That is a promise and tennyson never breaks a promise.

Bluzlover said...

Thanks for noticing my "polishing" technique. I'll have to find a replacement product for my bag balm.

Evil Genius said...

Son of a...I totally missed it! I need to get my priorities straight.