So I was watching the CBC evening news and I can't believe Wendy Mesley kept a straight face when she read this headline:
Cougars are on the prowl and attacking a small BC community!
The word "cougar" no longer makes me think of big wild cats who can seriously harm and/or kill humans. It now conjures up 40-something cleavage and pitchers of margaritas, so of course I was thinking: Wow. The young men of British Columbia are gettin' lucky tonight!
I laughed at the headline, but it wasn't funny news at all. A little girl was picking berries with her mom in the woods near her house, and surprise! ... she comes face to face with a cougar. Her mom fights off the cat, and her kid escapes with some cuts and bruises.
So it's a happy ending!
No, not that kind of happy ending.
Especially not for the poor cougar, and the cougar's buddies, who were tracked and shot dead by conservation officers, which is irony, not slang. The officers weren't conserving wildlife, they were destroying it in order to conserve urban sprawl.
This was supposed to be a post about the downside of slanguage, so I'm not gonna get into how pissed off I am at people who build their homes where wildlife lives and then go apeshit when the wildlife keeps showing up in their backyards. Suck it up and put on a bear suit, people, because the cougars want you off their lawn.
(No, not this kind of bear suit.)