Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A New Earth

While some of you may be trying to get your shit together by reading that Oprahfied self-analysis book, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, real scientists with jobs are hard at work, searching for "the Earth's twin" in the awesome massivity of our universe. With last week's discovery of three new "super-Earths" (planets similar to our own, but a lot bigger), they have optimistically announced that they are likely to find the Earth's identical twin in another star system within the next five years. You can check out this article if you want all the hot sciencey details.

Planet hunting for M-stars capable of supporting human life is nothing new to astronomers, since finding a habitable planet is the first step toward finding alien life, not to mention human annexation. After all, we'll eventually need a new planet to enjoy and destroy once we've polished off this one.

But one bold astronomer has turned his focus on finding Earth's evil twin. Dr. Ned Wakeling of the Exoplanet Task Force (ETF) suggests that we should be looking for something a lot hipper than what we're stuck with right now; a highly intelligent and diabolical world that is feared by all the other planets, yet admired for its raw, bad-boy sexiness by every hot star in the galaxy.

Although Dr. Wakeling has not made any progress in his research over the past 17 years, he has graciously provided this exclusive artist's rendering of "Earth's Evil Twin" to rocketradio.

We wish him all the luck in the worlds.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Happy Birthday, Pistols At Dawn

Today is Pistols At Dawn's birthday, so I did what any good friend would do: I broke into his house and moved all his furniture around.

I'm not gonna write anything here about how fucking awesome he is, because frankly, I did that for his birthday last year and he still didn't put out. I think I can spot a good waste of time when I see it, and Pistols is truly among the greatest I know.

So happy birthday Pistols, and here's wishing you just enough self-control to save me a piece of cake.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

this just in...

Poll results indicate:

Rocketreaders fear the Walrus.

lost and found

I recently found a bunch of art postcards I had purchased during a trip to Europe last December. I had intended to send the cards to my friends, but I forgot about them until I unpacked my suitcase after I returned home. So they ended up in a shoebox in my closet for the past 6 months.

Each postcard featured a portrait of a woman, as painted by one of my favourite artists, Albert Chavaz. I went to his exhibit at the Gianadda Foundation in Martigny, Switzerland. I was with my dad and my brother, and it was a refreshingly happy moment for the three of us, during an otherwise strained and difficult vacation together. And finding those cards today gave me that really good feeling again. For a couple of minutes, I felt alpine fresh.

It's weird how I ended up sending these postcards to myself in the future.

click to enlarge images

1. Cousine Claude - 1967
2. Grand nu, Michèle - 1965
3. Diane au bahut - 1955
4. Marie-José T. - 1967

Click here for a 3 minute video tour of the gallery & exhibit. (I promise it's 100% Rickfree. )

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Card sharp

Behold the awesome power of my new business cards!

They may be small, but unlike other things that are small, they deliver pure satisfaction.

Collect all five!

the Kathouse Oasis

What the hell is going on with Mother Nature? Has she been drinking again? Could it be menopause?

Last week it was hot and humid, but today I had to go put on a sweater and wool socks. That can't be right.

Anyways, I thought I would show off my lovely urban garden oasis to you, just in case it's completely wiped out by snow and ice tomorrow. I took these photos last week, when it was summer.

I'm fortunate to live downtown and still have a pretty view like this. I'm overlooking Canada's oldest cemetery/arboretum - 200 acres of protected parkland containing thousands of plant species, in addition to thousands of dead people. They are quiet and considerate neighbours.

"Sweet 100" cherry tomatoes - my first attempt at growing vegetables. No wait- tomato is a fruit, right? Okay, so it's not the first time I've had fruits on my balcony, but at least these ones won't drink all my vodka and bum all my cigarettes.
For those of you who are distressed by the current tomato shortage, I'll have hundreds to share with you in a couple of months.

[UPDATE: stem rot set in weeks later, rendering me a big fat liar.]

Herbs! Chives, basil, sage, rosemary, dill, and Italian flat leaf parsley.Coming soon, but currently indoors for their own protection: coriander, and spearmint

Delphinium (blue), Disco marigold (yellow), petunias, assylum and lobelia (whites). They look a bit scrawny right now, but they should fill out nicely after a couple of weeks of hot weather.
Two weeks ago, I found myself in a heated battle with some local pigeon gangs. They are stubborn little fuckers. I was desperate to scare them away, and a friend suggested that I place a large, hideous, plastic owl prominently on display, because pigeons don't like owls or something like that. Well, I don't like big plastic owls either, so I put up this poster in my window, and I'm happy to report that they've stopped hanging around:

Thanks Amy! I owe you one, girl!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Riding the Poll for Big Thrills

This is Marineland's "thrilling new attraction" for 2008. It is called the "Topple Tower".

Almost exactly a year ago, this same ride broke down at Dollywood, trapping 44 panicked riders for several hours. It was "closed indefinitely". That sounded quite thrilling enough to Marineland, who are usually known for their geriatric approach to theme park planning.

So what scares you more:

The ride itself?
That freaky lookin' walrus thing on top of the ride?

Friday, June 6, 2008

I n

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. And when I do find time to write, I can't seem to come up with anything original, so I've come to rely on YouTube crap and stolen photographs for a few cheap laughs. I'm sorry for that, too. It's been like this ever since I moved into the Capital I.

You see, I was looking for a new apartment, and my friends all said that Capital I was a clean and well-maintained co-op building. And the location was fabulous. The center of the sky is within walking distance of the shopping and entertainment district, so that's a nice bonus.

But living in the I comes with a lot of daily chores. I don't mind the rubbing so much, but I could do without the scrubbing. It's long hours of hard work, and leaves no happy time for internet fun.

And let's talk about the singing for just a second here. The singing is driving me fucking mad. I pretend that I like it, you know, to be polite - but I don't like it at all. It goes on like this day after day and I've had enough.

So I made an appointment to view a bright and spacious 1 bdrm lower case n next week: