Today I had lunch with a friend of mine who works at the Toronto Tourism Board. She spends most of her day answering calls from inquisitive tourists-to-be on their toll-free information line. It's so unlike me to waste a perfectly good margarita by laughing it right out my nose, but her hotline stories were so damn funny, I totally lost my ability to retain liquids.
REAL questions from the hotline:
Why do French Canadians have a different accent from other Canadians?
How do I apply for the Canadian Express card?
What's all this about Boxing Day in Toronto? Do you box on that day?
I heard about that new law and I'd like to find out... uh, my girlfriend would like to know the best places to go topless in Toronto.
Caller: How far is Boston from Toronto?
My friend: About 900 kilometers, or 565 miles.
Caller: So if I drive using miles, it won't take me as long to get there? Is that what you're saying?
Will the Toronto subway take me to Vancouver?
I'm entertaining some executives visiting from out of town, and I would like to know where they can ride some llamas.
What information do you have on Italy?
