Friday, May 30, 2008

I Got Your Goat

Alright kids, I'm back, and I brought you some goats:

I fell over laughing...

I found this on a blog called List of the Day , which features funny picks from YouTube and random comedy in pop culture. Thanks to Ramila from My 2 Second Shelf Life (go read her blog too - she's fun!) for the link.

Monday, May 26, 2008

T.C.B. in T.O.

The Management regrets to announce that Rocketradio will be off the air this week due to a wildkat strike by on-air talent. We hope to resume our regular programming on June 1st.

In the meantime, please enjoy our sexy test pattern.

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Full Monte Carlo

This weekend, I'm looking forward to my favourite F1 race of the season: Le Grand Prix de Monaco.

Two reasons:

1. It's one of the most challenging tracks on the championship circuit, and one of the most glamourous events in motorsport.

2. None of the spectators wear clothes.

Make your Rocket proud, baby!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Show Us Your (impressive knowledge of) Tits!

Are they real or are they fake?

Can you tell the difference?

Take this video quiz and put your knowledge to the tits test!

I got 21 out of 30, but in my defense, I was rather distracted. You're welcome to post your score in the comments thread.

WARNING! Porn alert:
The video quiz contains sexually explicit material, so if you're at work, it's time to summon everyone to your cubicle. If you're at home, just send the kids out for beer or whatever it is that parents do.

Night of a Dozen Stevies

If you're in the Greater Toronto Area and looking for some Big Downtown Excitement on a Tuesday night, I welcome you to drop by Alibi on Tuesday, May 27th - 10pm to help celebrate Stevie Nicks' 60th birthday with Crystal Visions and friends.

For one night only, Smirnoff Ice and Proud FM's Deb "Dirk" Pearce present The Passion of the Stevie, the city's ultimate drag Stevie karaoke event, featuring performances by Crystal Visions, Trixie and Beever, Betty Dimo, Big Daddy K, and more! And it's an Open Mic event, so pick a tune and bring out your inner gold dust woman.

The seventh person who buys me a gimlet wins a date with Katrocket.

Oh, and there will be cake. And prizes -- as if the promise of cake isn't enough for you people.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thanks Lollergirl

I have absolutely no idea who "Lollergirl" is -- maybe she's a spam-bot, which I love almost as much as femmebots. Anyways, she sent me an e-mail with this hilarious photo in it, so I'm posting it today because the tank is empty (in case you hadn't already figured that out from the previous posts).

Thanks Lollergirl.

Tomorrow you can likely expect a photograph of an empty tank.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Three lame jokes you can't get from Grant Miller Media

1. What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

2. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

3. What's black and white and has wheels?
A zebra. (I totally lied about the wheels part!)

Thursday, May 8, 2008

"Gun" for hire

I took this photo with my crappy cellphone on my way home from the supermarket.

It seems that Pistols At Dawn is advertising his "junk services" in my neighbourhood again.

Oh, your junk indeed.

I'll totally call you after payday.

The Return of the Plumber

I wrote a post recently about a visit from the handsome plumber who liked my clean can. Well, I was delighted to receive a second notice just two days ago from building maintenance, informing me that the plumber would be back to "check out your leaky faucet". Apparently the handsome plumber sent a work order to the building manager that indicated a burning need for "follow-up work on her pipes" and "a more thorough inspection".

It was the sexiest work order ever written, full of clever innuendo and hot naughty suggestions. I mean, the plumber already fixed my taps, so my faucet was not leaking anymore. Surely he must have made up some lame excuse just to see me again, right?

He was scheduled to come yesterday, sometime between 8am and 5pm, so I did what any infatuated, desperate single girl would do: my hair and make-up. I changed out of my traditional home-worker uniform of a t-shirt and sweats, and put on some sexy jeans and a low-cut blouse. I was smokin' hot, and smelled totally delicious.

So imagine my utter surprise and raging disappointment when a guy who looks like this knocked on my door:

Yeah, I know.

Try not to be jealous of me.

The new and not-even-remotely-handsome plumber finished up the job in less than two minutes (typical male), grunted something I couldn't understand (probably "hey, nice ass" or something like that) , packed up his tools and left.

I wonder if he'll ever call?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Say hello to the future of the future

After watching an episode of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, I get excited about what's in store for the future of mankind:

sexy pants with comfort-stretch waistband

tight satin jumpsuits with the zippers that go all the way down to there

Planets ruled by drag queens and femmebots

Stuttering robots

Swarathy bird men

Misanthropic vacuums

Space dwarf pirates

Sweet rides

# 1 TV show: Dancing with the Camel Toed Stars