Sunday, August 27, 2006

Calgary or Bust

Last night I went to the first in a series of farewell parties for a friend who is moving to Calgary next month. The theme was "rodeo & stampede", so it turned out to be a good game of cowboys & lesbians.

I was asked to make a boob cake, since this gang loved the penis cake that I brought to a celebration earlier this year. Of course, it was another sexycake sensation!

I would love to see a boobcake eating contest, but I would insist on full-face titgorging action, so all the contestants would have their hands tied behind their back.

I wonder, if I bake them, will they come?


Bill Pocock said...

I'm in.

Got another one: attach fudgecycles to strap-ons and have a lesbians race to see who can suck it the fastest.

No teeth.

Remember the old frosh week blindfold banana eating contest? A classic.

steakbellie said...

"The World Boob-Cake Eating Championship" I'm in contact with the IFOCE, and will let you know what the next steps should be. They are also in talks over a "Hair-pie" eating contest, but I think the sponsor pulled out.

Note: All the cakes should be of equal cupsize and weight.

Awesome cake by the way

Birdy said...

Steakbellie is putting way too much thought into this. My concern is that he actually will contact the IFOCE!

steakbellie said...

perhaps Mister Birdy is not putting enough thought into it. We all have to ask ourselves...What Would Lothar Do?

Bill Pocock said...

Perhaps Lothar would do something like this?...


IFOCE sales,

My management team is producing the first annual 'The Toronto Erotic Food Festival' (TEFF) in Toronto. The festival will be held in either late 2006 or early 2007.

The festival would include a variety of fun, yet tasteful erotic food eating contests.

One team member has suggested, for example,...

"I would love to see a boobcake eating contest, but I would insist on full-face titgorging action,
so all the contestants would have their hands...behind their back. I wonder, if I bake them,
will they come?"

My question to the IFOCE: would the IFOCE consider associating itself with this first of annual Toronto events?

If so, what are the IFOCE sales items for discussion?


Bill Pocock


Anyone interested?

katrocket said...

That's hilarious! Bill Pocock has always been a Man of Action.

I'm interested, as long as I don't have to personally bake a thousand boob cakes.

Bill Pocock said...

It would be great to get the whole gang onboard, but the geographic element seems to be an obstacle. Think you could get a Toronto team together, Cobie, with all your contacts in the groovy party scene?

Would Steakbellie and Birdy be willing to serve as creative consultants (on spec, of course) for such a worthy cause? Part of the proceeds donated to a worthy charity?

I recommend start it small for the first year for an easy win, and urgings to make it bigger and better every following year. How about a single venue (Buddies in Bad Times?) where eating contests and a Ms. Cheesecake and Mr. Beefcake competition could be held. We could get some vendors in there as well selling chocolates, pastries, fresh oysters. Maybe the bar couls sell electric Jello. I dunno. Just throwing ideas out.

I think it could be a lot of fun and be the sort of event that would make any city a destination spot to be envied. What's the downside.

Couldn't we get pastry shops to provide the contest cakes/items in exchange for on-site advertising?

It would be good for the 'Toronto Erotic Food Festival' to have humble beginnings. An enclosed, outdoor venue would be another option.

C'mon, Cobie. Isn't it your moral duty to run this baby now that you know how much good pleasure it would bring into our lives? It's your chance to get into Heaven after your life of sin!

You know me, Cobie. Am I kidding? Don't forget I have taped footage of you running a very successful Frosh Week. I know you can do this.

I feel we would need a small, hand-picked team of good, team-oriented worker/managers to design, plan, promote, operate such a festival.

Oh, and like figure skating, I think the contests should have a technical and stylistic component with judges scoring up to 6.0. Just a thought. Let me know what you think.

Wow, long comment.

Bill Pocock said...

We would need the...

'Erotic Dream Team' pull this off.

"We're on a mission from Venus".

Togas anyone?

katrocket said...

The question: "If I bake them, will they come?" was purely rhetorical. While the idea of an Erotic Pastry festival has artistic and social merit, as well as tourism and economic benefits, I am not remotely interested in making this happen. I got out of event management years ago, when I finally had to admit to myself that I hated working with large groups of clueless people. Fun idea, but not my scene anymore, Bill. Good luck with it.

Bill Pocock said...

You're right, clueless people suck.

I'm out too.

steakbellie said...

Of course the more managable way to hold the contest is to have a limited amount of cakes.

5 Eaters - Each much eat two breasts- one cake. First one done, wins.

The cakes should be identical in weight, but could be actually part of another contest where 5 people must first decorate the breast cakes...then these five dopes eat them....

a far far far better idea would be to give five scantly clad woman a cupcake each and give them a minute or two to do something interesting for the audience with it.