Sunday, December 31, 2006

farewell to 2006...

I never make New Year resolutions. Sure, I have a few friends who have successfully lost weight or quit smoking or read more books or whatever, but I think most people just end up setting themselves up for failure. Instead, I like to take a look back at all the cool stuff I managed to do, and make a list of new things I'd like to try... but I tend to do this all throughout the year, not just on January 1.

2006 - The Year in Review:

  • I was named Time Magazine's Person of the Year for my outstanding contribution to internet culture. I'm quite certain I received this honour for my topless party shots on Flickr, not this blog. I wasn't especially happy to share this esteemed award with the rest of you boneheads.

  • After 6 years of planning to visit Chicago again, I finally made the trip in May 2006. I love architechture and art galleries, and Chicago has some of the best to offer in the U.S. But I really built up the trip in my head and ended up kinda disappointed. I should have gone to NYC.

  • This year, I wanted to circulate my photography beyond the realm of Flickr, so with the incredible support of The Scandelles and, I held two successful exhibitions in The Antechamber at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre. Now that I'm not so scared to mount a solo show, I'll likely do a couple more in 2007.

  • I had the great fortune of being invited to Camp Stewart this year - a weekend of camping, dress-up, and drinking. It was a new level of Fun for me. I got to be Xena for a day. I never had the chance to attend summer camp as a kid. This was nothing like that.

  • In all my years of watching Formula 1 racing, this was the most exciting season yet. Michael Schumacher just retired, and my other fave driver, Jacques Villeneuve, lost his seat mid-way through the year, but it was still a wild ride.

  • I didn't win any lotteries (as planned), but I assure you this is not due to a lack of effort on my part.

Coming in 2007:

  • A new haircut. Probably a new hair colour too.
  • Less drinking, more thinking. Well, until summer anyways.
  • I'm helping out a friend of mine with his graphic novel, Top Superstar. It's gonna be sweet.
  • I'll be painting again. If not for love, then at least for money.
  • Planning Summerlovefest Tour '07 part I -- NYC, Cape Cod, Boston. ETA July 2007.
  • Planning Summerlovefest Tour '07 part II -- visit Aaron in St. Pete's or bring Aaron to Toronto. Either way it will be messy.
  • More Partiste parties! More films, more fun.

Here's wishing all my blog friends a very Happy New Year and all the best in 2007!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

got kilt?

I read in the newspaper this morning that there's a dire kilt shortage in the Scottish military. It's big news that the Scotish regiments in Afghanistan only have 320 kilts among men - which means that there's one skirt shared between 15 men.

As soon as I stopped laughing, I was quick to blame certain plaid-skirt-wearing competitive eaters and that gaggle of skanky Catholic school girls who ride the bus with me every day. Then I realized there's more to this issue than just an irregular displacement of traditional Celtic garments. I realized that the Scottish Army, just like the Canadian Army, is radically underequipped to patrol foreign conflict arenas.

A close friend of mine has served in the Canadian military for many years, so I'm no stranger to the trials and tribulations faced by our young men & women stationed overseas. Over the years, he has complained of inadequate weaponry, unsafe vehicles, substandard shelter, disgusting food, unbearable heat, incompetent leadership, bad communications, and a total lack of government support.


These poor Scottish lads are all breezy from the waist down. Well, all but 320 of them anyways. I mean, it's embarassing enough to show up at a fight wearing a skirt, nevermind charging the enemy in tighty whities. One would think the Scots would have cornered the global market on kiltery.

So I encourage you all to go to your closets in search of "gently used" plaid skirts and post them immediately to our Celtic brothers overseas. Every piece counts! Even old school uniforms from your 7 year-old daughter can be sewn together with someone else's kids' plaid scarf to make a bonny droog smile again. Mix it up -- support someone else's troops this holiday season!

Monday, December 18, 2006

happy birthday Steakbellie

don't shit on my parade
Originally uploaded by

Yesterday was Steakbellie's birthday. For those of you who are convinced you're too busy to click on that link (and trust me, you AREN'T):

  • Steakbellie is ranked 38th in the world as a competitive eater. Wings are his specialty. He trains to win. He wears a kilt. He has an "entourage". Kids think he's "cool"
  • Steakbellie once rode 3500 miles across the U.S. on a bicycle to raise funds and awareness for drug education programs.
  • Steakbellie hates skinny socialites and Hollywood trainwrecks just like you do. He spends a lot of time making fun of them (just like you do), but he's much funnier than you are.
  • Steakbellie ranks 4th on my Top 10 List of People I Wish to Get Drunk and Photograph.

I'd like to wish him a happy birthday with my first haiku in a long time:

I suck at haikus
But I'm willing to make an
Exception today.

All the best to you, SB. Glad to know ya.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Who are you?

True story:
July 20, 2006 - Paleo Festival in Nyon, France

A vast crowd of young fans have gathered to see Depeche Mode, Goldfrapp, The Dandy Warhols, Louise Attaque and the Pixies. The Who is headlining.

Townsend rips into the opening riffs of "Who are You". The crowd goes fucking nuts. Cute college girl # 1 turns to supercute college girl # 2 and says:

"Why are they playing the theme song from CSI? They can't do that!"

Kids today...