Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 can suck it

Happy New Year!

I totally fucking miss you.

Voulez vous buvez avec moi, ce soir?

see ya next week...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

This will be my final post for 2008... I'm leaving town for a while, so I'd like to wish all of you fabulous people a truly terrific holiday. Thanks for all the laughs this year...

I'm spending the holidays with my family, which means I'll be drinking with a view and writing for the next couple of weeks, so I'll be back in January with more stories, one less blog (rocketalk is going off the air) and a brand new format.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Joyeux Nöel et Bonne Année!
love Kat xo

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Show Us Your Tips!

Headline: Paris art models go nude to protest City Hall law against tipping

PARIS (AP) - Paris City Hall wants to strip art school models of the tips they receive from painters and sculptors - and the nude models decided they weren't going to take that with their clothes on. About 15 models braved near-freezing temperatures to strip outside the city's cultural affairs bureau Monday to protest a new municipal order that again bans the age-old practice of tipping those who pose nude.

I can't even believe I'm writing this sentence, because I am ALL ABOUT THE NUDITY, but wouldn't this protest be slightly more effective if the models kept their clothes ON? You know, refuse to show the artsy-fartsies their "tip" until they see some tips? I'm just not convinced that working for free is the clearest path to higher wages.

One of the things I love about France is the ass-backwards way they protest stuff that pisses them off. I was visiting there when the ban on public smoking in cafes and restaurants took effect on Jan 1, 2008. The French were completely outraged by the whole assault on their smoking culture, but chose to protest the new bylaw by - get this - boycotting the purchase of cigarettes. Oh yes,that will teach them all a big fat lesson. The French sure are good at problem-solving.

And then there was that time in 2005 when the restless youth of Paris protested police violence and high youth unemployment by rioting in the streets, burning cars and businesses (including a daycare), and killing innocent bystanders. Because nothing helps you get a job faster than torching the offices of your potential employers, and nothin' keeps the fuzz at bay like an arson party.

Anyways, fuck all that, we were talking about boobs, right?

I'm leaving for France next week, and you can be damn sure I'll be nipping this issue in the buff.

Oh, and if you like the above painting, it's "The French Model" by Sergey Ignatenko. I just told him I was French to score that gig. Sorry I defaced it with a mitt full o' Euros, but my hand was already covering that boob, so you're not missing anything, perverts.

Monday, December 15, 2008

A Comprehensive Directory of All The Animals I Ate Last Night

Last night, I enjoyed a special culinary tour of Fuzion, one of Toronto's fine dining/lounges on the Church Street strip. As the guest of one of the house chefs, I had the rare privelege of experiencing a 10-course tasting menu (a series of small portions) of their newest winter dishes within the stunning decor of the old Robert Simpson House.

It was a wonderful evening and I highly recommend this restaurant if you're in Toronto (Church & Dundonald) and looking for a lovely spot to enjoy some deliciously creative food.

If you're a vegetarian (shame on you), you might want to look the other way, because these are all the animals I ate:

The wilderness is a quieter place this morning.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Farewell, Bettie Page

The world's most famous and controversial pin-up model, Bettie Page, passed away yesterday in Los Angeles at the age of 85.

click here for her obituary from Associated Press

There will never be another model like Bettie, because she personified naughty in an era of nice, and helped to usher in the sexual revolution of the 60s.

"There was a passion play unfolding in her mind. What some see as a bad-girl image was in fact a certain sensual freedom and play-acting - it was part of the fun of being a woman."
-- Olivia De Berardinis, American painter

"The origins of what captures the imagination and creates a particular celebrity are sometimes difficult to define. Bettie Page was one of Playboy magazine's early Playmates, and she became an iconic figure, influencing notions of beauty and fashion."
-- Hugh Hefner, Playboy Magazine

"I want to be remembered as I was when I was young and in my golden times... I want to be remembered as the woman who changed people's perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form."
-- Bettie Page

Most of Bettie's images are NSFW, but I'm posting some here anyways and I'm sorry if anyone catches hell, but seriously, you should know better than to read Rocketradio at work. Nudity happens.

click images to enlarge

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I had an excellent birthday yesterday, thanks in part to your kind wishes, and the overwhelming generousity of my beautiful friends. For all the sordid party details, please read the The Guv'ner's Official Kat Birthday Commission Report on the year's most stud-starred event.

I've also got some pics of my birthday booty (as in "treasure", not "ass") to better illustrate the full degree of awesomeness.

I received a pair of black low-top Converse All Stars from my BFFs Trixie and Beever. I love them Beevers! I've wanted a new pair of Chucks for a long time. I need all the help I can get to regain my Hipster Doofus status after that incident at Starbucks which now prevents me from loitering around on their sticky sofas with my laptop.

No mo' Snarbuck!

A little something from myself - a new skin for the Rocketfone! I have a very generic cellphone, which only led to terrible mobile ownership confusion in the past, so I designed this skin myself, to help reduce those late night bar brawls. Now my phone is so much cooler than your phone could ever hope to be.

My dad got me a ticket to see Duran Duran tonight at the ACC! I was a big fan of DD as a teen, and I missed out on seeing them live way back in the old days, so 22 years later, I'll finally live the dream.

Super sexy cookbook author and local celebrity chefetainer Ryan Jennings gave me an autographed copy of his brand new book, Entertaining With Booze, which coincidentally was my nickname in college. It's a gorgeous, glossy publication full of great tips, delicious recipes, and top-notch food porn. Makes an excellent holiday enabling gift for your favourite alcoholic.

The inimitable Daddy K bestowed me with this cute Mini-Munny Zipper Pull. I've named him Stan. He may be tiny, but be cautious - he's packin' a shiv. Never trust a guy with a fucking hook growing out of his head.

Someone out there knows how to ride the Rocket.

It's 'Milk'n'Honey' scented, too.

God bless you.

As for the request for your Drysdale votes, thanks to all the folks who have already chosen me among a field of tough contenders for Blogger of The Year. Unlike the other Bloggers who are pathetically begging for your votes today, I'm not going to resort to sad, desperate pleas for your attention.

Not in this post anyways.

Monday, December 8, 2008

December 8th: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I'm not like other people who remain all humble and silent about their personal milestones, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it: today is my birthday, so bring it on, lovers!

I'm taking the afternoon off to play Wii at 4:20 with my friends, but in case you're running out to get me a present, here's a few suggestions:

the Schick Intuition razor -- Shaving just got a whoooooole lot more exciting. I hope it's one of those "sonic technology" razors the boys have. Yeah, like dudes need a vibrating razor.


Creepy children optional.

007 Quantum o' Solace video game (Playstation) -- I rented this last week for a test drive and I want my own copy. I can't be with Daniel Craig, but this awesome game lets me actually be Daniel Craig! It's a dream come true.

Yeah ok, I spend most of my time bending myself over and staring at my ass.

Shut up.

Bacon briefcase -- Seriously, I need a place to keep my bacon.

Cold Hard Cash -- so I can finally finish my "I ♥ Pistols At Dawn" tattoo. I couldn't take the pain and I sorta bailed at a most unfortunate time. Apparently this is freaking hilarious to Mexicans.

Your Unconditional Love (photo not available) -- it's cheap and cheerful, and really the only thing that matters to me. I will also be happy to accept Your Conditional Love during these difficult economic times.



Today at Fire That Agency!: BeckEye continues The 12 Ads of Christmas with Day 4...Gold Diggers!

The nominations are in!!! Check out the nominees for the 2008 Drysdale Awards. Also, please vote for me (or FTA!) as often as possible, because it definitely counts as Unconditional Love.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Setting Free the Bears

While choosing my nominees for the 2008 Drysdale Awards at Grant Miller Media, I couldn't help but notice this banner ad for 100% free Gay Bear Dating in the sidebar.

I was all "no way!" - and not just because Mr. Miller is a dangerously straight man living a peaceful, bear-free existence with his loving wife and children. My problem with the ad is the man in the photo, and his obvious lack of qualifications to be cast in the role of gay bear. But what do I know? I'm not qualified to make a final judgment on the matter, so I called in someone who is.

I scheduled an urgent conference with Rocketradio's Senior Gay Bear Dating Correspondent, Crystal Visions. Ms. Visions is a professional Stevie Nicks impersonator, an avid Gay Bear Dater since 1992, and a rather formidable grizzly herself.

Kat: Does this guy look like a gay bear to you?

Crystal: That's Edward Norton.

Kat: I see where you're coming from, but it's not Ed Norton.

Crystal: Sure it is! Fake smile, poofy hair, big ol' va-jay-jay on his face...

Kat: It's not him. Edward Norton is thinner and douchier. But I'm wondering, as an expert dater of bears, does this model accurately represent your ideal?

Crystal: Well, "ideal" is so subjective. He's a good looking man for sure, but I like 'em meatier and bushier myself. I'd have to see his body... naked.... ooooh maybe he's pear shaped? Or maybe he's got a sexy Buddha belly...

Kat: Please stop touching yourself. I don't know... I'm not convinced that he's hairy enough. I mean, shouldn't he look more like this? (see photo at left)

Crystal: OMG check out that bling. Looks like Sally just robbed a church, eh?! What's it to you anyways? I mean, why are you blogging about stupid ads on some other guy's blog?

Kat: Because Grant Miller paid for my breast implants on the condition that I blog about Grant Miller Media at least once a month.

Crystal: You're out of stuff to write about, aren't you?

Kat: (long pause) .... Yes.

Crystal: Is Grant Miller a gay bear? I might be interested...

Kat: No, he's a polar bear - the total opposite of a bear. Straight, married, kids... I've only seen one photo of him, but he's thin and clean shaven.

Crystal: But he has an ad on his blog for a gay bear dating site?

Kat: Yes.

Crystal: Honey, those are the gayest bear daters of all.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I'm back, and I brought you some plugs

See? I told you I wouldn't be gone that long. I just had some stuff to do.

Like this:

Rocketstudio has launched a new online shop for Toronto's famous Propaganda boutique! If you're looking for fun and unique holiday gifts, check out

and this:

The 12 Ads of Christmas, Part 1, now available at Fire That Agency!

and this:
  • helped Stéphane and Jack overthrow Canadian government

  • picked my nominees for the 2008 Drysdale Awards

  • completed first draft of scandalous tell-all book

  • hired lawyer to deal with injunctions filed against scandalous tell-all book

  • attempted to sell my Pistols shrine on eBay (no takers)

  • drove by your house. A lot.