What I won't miss about summer:

I won't miss Crocs.

I know they're comfortable. But you should know that when you wear them in public, people are laughing at you. If they're not laughing, at the very least, they are probably thinking "Fuck, those are REALLY ugly shoes."

I happen to think hanging around in my Ginch Gonch and bathrobe is comfortable. But I know it's wrong to walk down the street wearing such a thing. And you should too.

So wear them around your house, while you're gardening, fly fishing, or taking out the garbage. But please hear this: no one at the mall or at work wants to look at your fucking hideous orange plastic clogs.

Yay! Mercer is back!

Thank goodness! Rick Mercer stopped blogging all summer and I was forced to replace his brilliant political humour by shooting suction darts at Nancy Grace on CNN.

It was a bad trade. It's obvious I've become obnoxiously opinionated about shit I know nothing about.

The Mercer Report returns to CBC Tuesdays (8pm)on October 3rd.

Survivor 13: Putting the Fever back into the Jungle

jungle feevah
Originally uploaded by Katrocket.

Today I was sitting in the lunchroom at work, dining with my colleagues, eating my dull salad and flipping thru a trashy celeb mag. I was about to offer some amusing commentary on that damn skank Lohan, when an article on the facing page caught the attention of the table. It was about this season's Survivor, a show I have watched faithfully for 12 seasons now. I stopped actually enjoying the show several years ago, but like a roadside accident, I can't seem to look away. I had a similar struggle with Melrose Place in the mid-90s.

There's been a lot of controversy since the announcement that contestants would be segregated by race (black vs. white vs. asian vs. hispanic). So what? They’ve already divided men from women, and old vs. young. It’s a fairly natural progression to go for the obvious, and it’s guaranteed headlines to boot.

I think Probst explains it best: “A lot of people who have never seen Survivor have absolutely no idea what they're condemning, and are using this as a platform to advance their own agenda.” I ♥ Jeff Probst.

We can pass this off as a ratings gimmick, but TV networks have been baiting races for fun and profit for decades. Anyone remember Archie Bunker? Good Times? The Jeffersons? Well, this black vs. white bullshit isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff.

We agreed that this could be an interesting social experiment, and by creating teams based on race, the elements of racism and prejudice within tribes would be eliminated from gameplay. I've heard many a past contestant (on many reality shows) whine and complain that they don't fit into their team because of "cultural boundaries", and there’s been accusations of discrimination and stereotyping. The folks watching at home can see that everyone hates that player because the individual is an asshole, not because of their race. So no more excuses, no more accusations. Step up or lose your fire, bitch.

What I’m interested in finding out, through the magic of reality television, is this: If everyone is the same race, does racism exist? I think that's the main point that Survivor is trying to make. In earlier seasons, they have already proven that separating a group solely by physical characteristics only brings on a new layer of conflict. As soon as one judgment factor is removed, (gender, for example) it is immediately replaced with another (such as homophobia or ageism).

Humans are funny that way. We gravitate toward sameness and conformity, and we long to be included and accepted into society, but at the same time, we stubbornly fight to remain absolutely individual. I believe that the essence of true "unity" probably looks a whole lot like the Borg Collective.

But who wants that shit?

The Mess We're In

Can you hear them?
The helicopters
I'm in New York
No need for words now
We sit in silence
You look me
In the eye directly
You met me
I think it's Wednesday
The evening
The mess we're in
and the city sun sets over me.

-Thom Yorke


I wasn't there, like so many of my friends were. I don't have a right to speak profoundly on the subject, and I don't have a story. But I can think for myself.

The melodramatic media hype continues to sicken me, and every year it just gets worse. No one will be allowed to ever forget the 3,000 innocent victims at the WTC. The sadness will haunt generations of souls around the world for more than a lifetime. My thoughts are with my American friends today.

But where is your memorial for the 42,000 Iraqi civilians you have taken in return, America? How many more victims will set things right for you? All evidence suggests that your Leadership is directing their revenge at the wrong people in the wrong country for the wrong reasons.

Today I feel very sorry for you in more ways than one.

Banksy Does Paris

Photos courtesy of Sharl on Flickr

This morning I awoke to the giddy & delightful news that British grafitti artist Banksy has infiltrated the Top 10 at HMV in London UK. He managed to Photoshop several copies of Paris Hilton's new CD with new packaging and a "topless" cover, and then covertly smuggled 500 copies into 42 HMV and Virgin record stores in the UK, complete with barcodes, where they were eventually purchased and then launched into a media frenzy.

I'm so happy that art is becoming fun again. Instead of blathering on and on about how much I love this guy, you can check out his official website... OR, better yet, there is a Banksy group on Flickr that has a more comprehensive collection of this outdoor work.

the Banksy manifesto: "If you want an audience, start a fight"