Last night I was waiting for the King streetcar right in the heart of the theatre district after all the shows were let out. It was a nice evening, so the streets were packed with theatre-goers, club kids and senior bus tour groups.
A homeless man was sitting on the sidewalk about 6 feet away from the transit stop, selling little angel figurines he had carved from soap bars. He had about 15 of them neatly displayed on top of a large box, with a makeshift sign that said "ANGELS $5 EACH", and he continuously chanted his sales pitch like a meditation mantra: "Buy an angel? Buy an angel? Buy an angel?"
It made me pray that someone would buy an angel just to shut him up. That was when three young women barely dressed in their skanky, shiny clubbing outfits approached the homeless man, and I thought perhaps the soap angels had answered my prayer.
CLUB SLUT #1: OH MY GOD! These are sooooo cute!
HOMELESS GUY: Buy an angel?
CLUB SLUT #2: Did you make these yourself?
HOMELESS GUY: Yes I did, miss. Buy an angel? Only 5 dollars. Hand carved!
CLUB SLUT #1: [Picks up a figurine to examine it closer, then makes the "eeeew!" face] Eeeeeew! What's that smell?! Smell it! [shoves angel in her friend's face]
CLUB SLUT #3: Eeeeew! It smells like soap or something!
HOMELESS GUY: I carve them from a bar of soap. Ivory soap. Very pure.
CLUB SLUT # 1: Do you have any angels that don't smell like soap?
Sadly, the homeless man did NOT have any soap angels that did not smell like soap, so he lost the sale. The three skanks continued down the street, laughing loudly, while the homeless man gave them the finger and continued his chanting without missing a beat. "Buy an angel?"
I didn't want to buy an angel out of pity, but the look of shame and disappointment on the man's face when those girls walked away was heartbreaking. So I gave the guy ten dollars and told him he could keep his 2 angels and sell them to someone else to make more money. He blessed me a whole lot, called ME an angel, and firmly insisted that I take a figurine with me.
It's now sitting on my desk beside my monitor. And my whole fucking apartment smells like Ivory soap.