Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Congratulations, you may already be a wiener

Actual telemarketing call - 5:05pm Wednesday.

recorded female voice: Congratulations! Your contest entry has just been selected to win a one-week Caribbean cruise! For more information on how YOU can collect your prize, press nine now.

(Pause. A little slower.) That's the "9" button on your telephone keypad. Press it now.


Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

How many of those called do you figure hit 9? 50%?

The Guv'ner said...

Damn!!! No wonder nothing happened when I dialed 1-800-eff-yooo.

Seriously. What the hell? Condescending bitch. (Um..her, not you)

katrocket said...

BSUWG: I suspect it's far less than 50%, since "9" is a one-way ticket to a bad hotel lunch and a 3 hour timeshare presentation.

Guv'ner: Yeah. Her tone said "I'm friendly!", but her words said "You're stupid!".

T said...

She didn't realize she was calling a Canadian and pressing "9" would summons The Royal Canadian Mounties, -and, as we all know, Canadians hate "The Warm".

pistols at dawn said...

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. If you would like to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad now."

It's not enough that telemarketers call constantly, now they have to be condescending as well? F-ers.

Grant Miller said...

Number 9.

Number 9.

Number 9.

Number 9.

Beth said...

Damn. No wonder I lost — I kept pressing 9 on my keyboard.

Snooze said...

No wonder some countries want to kill us.

The Guv'ner said...

If you're in the UK and you have Parkinson's, that shit could result in a visit from the police.

/careful with the nines