1. FAMOUS FRENCH CARTOON CHARACTERS ARE NOT NECESSARILY FRENCH.
In France, Pépé lePew is not French. He's Italian. He's called "Pépé le Putois" which means "Pepe the Polecat" and not "Pepe the Cunt", as I had originally hoped, because "putois" seemed like a cool word I might like to start calling people I don't like. As in: "suck on this, Poo-twah!" According to my sister-in-law, the French don't see themselves as being smelly, relentless pussy-chasers. That's Italian territory, merci beaucoup.
2. GUM IMITATES LIFE.
I bought a pack of strawberry flavoured chewing gum called "STYLE by Hollywood" because I loved the way it looked, and the name made me laugh. And sure enough, just like Style in Hollywood, the packaging was super cool -- it folded out like a cigarette case, with individually wrapped pieces the size and shape of Trident (old school, not the bubble pack tablet things) . And once again, just like Hollywood, I was enraptured by the initial Frankenberryesque flavour of the gum, only to spit it out in disgust 2 minutes later when it turned to tasteless rubber in my mouth.
3. SHOWGIRLS IS EVEN WORSE DUBBED IN FRENCH
4. SARKOZY IS NOT THAT GUY WHO CAN FLY ON HEROES.
And apparently to suggest such a thing in certain company is très gauche.
I would be quite flattered if someone thought my President could fly.
Vote Zod in '08!
5. THIS DUDE IS THE BIGGEST POP STAR IN FRANCE.
His name is Christophe Willem and he sings like a girl.
I think he might have sold me a PS3 at Best Buy last year.
Hey, he's really going places...good for him!